Thursday, September 1, 2011
I am always amazed at the way God works. Why He would even care about someone like me, is beyond my puny comprehension. I just know that He does care about me, and He cares about you, and if we would just stop and take a moment to think about it, it is amazing.
Lately, I have been on another pity party. I was trying to wean myself down off of the Savella that I take for the fibromyalgia pain. For some stupid reason, I often think that "maybe I don't really have fibro and that I don't have to take medication for it." DUMB! Within a week of getting down to half the dosage, my back and hip started hurting non-stop, and then my ankle pain (that I haven't felt in almost a year) returned. So, I am getting back up to maintenance dosage and the pains are starting to go away. (Weird how that happens.)
So, anyhow, this morning during my quiet time with the Lord, it seemed the Holy Spirit asked me if I would be willing to yield my health completely to the Lord and be willing to give up some more of my dreams and desires? I said, "No Way! I have already given up enough. I have already gone through so much heart-ache and so many trials, that I didn't think it was fair for me to give up even more...and especially not something that I love to do so very much. Nope! No Way!" Then the Lord asked me if I trusted Him with all my heart? "Wow, do I have to tell the truth? Um, I do, but not in this area." He asked me how I could sing or even believe the words of Proverbs 3:5-6. It was a struggle and I did not want to talk to the Lord about it anymore. How can I give up all to God when I feel like He has already taken so much from me? I left my quiet time knowing that God would somehow get my attention today.
The rest of my day was very busy and I had sort of forgot about the conversation that I had left hanging with the Lord...but He didn't. This afternoon, I was checking my email and there was one from my Pastor. It had a link to a song. Oh my! That song was as if the Lord was singing it to me. The words are words from my own mind. (I am still crying.) The Holy Spirit used that song to speak to my heart and to break it and to get me to finally yield my health and these certain dreams and desires to my LORD. He does not owe me anything, however, I owe Him everything. I hope you will be able to link to the website and be blessed.