Monday, February 13, 2012


My mom has dementia. She gets stuck on a subject and will revisit it often, and I mean often, until she gets stuck on another subject. Actually she has a few subjects that she can be stuck on at the same time. Last year it was the trees and the clouds and the "boyfriends" that she had. I don't know how many times we heard about Art Ritis, Luke Emia, and Al Simers. It was nice when she finally got onto another topic, but then she got stuck on it.
Please realize that I love my momma very, very much and thank the LORD that I still have her as a physical part of my life. She isn't the woman that she used to be and that is sometimes sad. However, she is here and lives near-by and I can still enjoy her company.
For the last few months my mom is stuck on the subject of my younger brother and myself being her "oops children". Yes, we were a surprise. My mom already had one boy and her one girl. She thought she was done. Then, nine years later I came along and only thirteen months later my younger brother arrived. So, technically, I guess we are her "oops children". But that was over 50 years ago!
I like to think of us as her "gift children". A surprise gift from God. Those who don't think God has a sense of humor, haven't been noticing the funny stuff that He allows.
Another subject my mom is stuck on also concerns my younger brother and myself. And that is the color of our hair. She keeps accusing us of dying it. (I admit that I do, but not more than three times a year.) Our genetics are such that we just don't get grey until we are older. However, if you look close enough there are a few. My brother just keeps his so short that you can't see his.
So, I decided to find a picture of my mom from when she was my age. I looked through my photo albums and found a nice one of her reclining on the couch with our favorite dog, Chi-Chi. (Chi-Chi was a tiny, deer chihauhau that we had from the time she was just six weeks old until she was 16 years.) It was hard for me to realize that my mom was my age when that photo was taken. I remember it so well.....
And that is where the real truth and blessing are to be found!
That picture of my mom was taken 32 years ago, right after Jerry and I had gotten married. The two of us had just returned from San Diego, I had just turned 20, we had to live with my parents because the economy was falling and the job Jerry had waiting for him was gone. It was a horrible time in my life and I hated my parents because of things that had happened in my youth. (I may write about those at some other time.)
Looking at my mom, I thought of how I would feel if I was her. She was a mean mom and was dealing with her own problems, but I had no right to hate her. I wonder if I hurt her? How could I not? Maybe that is why she retaliated back in such hurtful ways to me.
And then, while looking at the photo, the Lord reminded me of how much He loves us and how much He has done in our lives to forgive us, and how He has healed all of the pain and sorrow that we had back then. It is amazing and oh so wonderful. It is hard to believe what life was like way back then, but it is even harder to believe that God would take these rotten sinners and forgive them of their sins and change their hearts.
So, I give all thanks and praise to the Lord. Thanks for my precious momma. Thanks for forgiving us and healing us with Your amazing love. Thanks for her dementia and getting stuck on subjects. Thanks for showing me this photo and reminding me of Your grace and mercy.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

No higher calling

     The other night I was on a tiny little pity party. I couldn't breath because I had a sinus infection and my body just ached from a fibro flare-up. It was time for bed and I felt sorry for myself. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. When I get to feeling sorry for myself, I sink into sin. My thoughts all focus on me and what I have had to "give up" because of my health issues. Oh rotten self starts to believe the lies that come from the swill of my brain. Lies that claim God doesn't love me and that if He did I wouldn't be sick, I would be able to do all of the things that I want to do. Lies that claim I am a failure. Lies that claim life isn't fair because I have had more than my share of suffering. Lies, lies, lies.
     However, this night, the Holy Spirit was right there to counter those sinfilled lies. The lie that was trying to overwhelm my brain the most was the lie that God doesn't love because I can't do the things that I used to be able to do. Immediately the Holy Spirit asked me why God had created me in the first place?! Why did God create woman? Genesis 2 tells us that man (Adam) was placed by God in the Garden of Eden and that he was alone. Verse 18, "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." So, God created woman (Eve) from one of Adam's ribs. Verse 23 & 24, "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall becalled Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
     I knew right then and there, that I have no higher calling than to be the wife of my precious husband. To be a mother is an amazing blessing. To be able to work with children is a wonderful gift. To be able to write, to teach, to mentor, to do anything at all is truly a blessing. But to be a wife, a wife of a man that loves God, to be a christian wife to a christian man....for me there is no greater job. I know that there are some out there who believe that to be a wife is to be a "slave", a "servant", a "doormat" for a man to do with as he pleases. In very few cases they are correct. But I truly believe the Word of God, that God created me to be a wife, an help meet for my husband.
     Jerry needs me and I need him. Jerry loves me and I love him. Jerry loves for me to help him and I love to be able to help him as much as I can. In spite of my fibro, there is nothing greater that I can do than to be an helpmeet for my husband. Praise the LORD!