Sunday, April 26, 2009

Special Olympics

I never realized how blessed I am until Bekah got involved in Special Olympics. The Lord has used it to teach me how to be "real". These athletes are the most "real" people I have ever met. They never try to be anything other than who they are. Talk about "self-esteem"...they don't need it because they already have "self-acceptance". They are perfectly happy with the way God created them.
I use to have these lofty dreams and goals for Bekah. She was my only child and I thought she had to exceed all others and that she had to do it according to my plan. I figured she would be the smartest, prettiest, have the most friends, be the most popular, be the kindest, be the most godly young lady that the world has ever seen. (I truly can't believe how selfish I was.) I never wanted to believe nor accept the fact that my daughter had any sort of disability. (Even though it was hard to miss!) I keep believing that one day she would just be "normal" and all of my dreams for her would come true.
But then the Lord got a hold of my sinful pride and shook me to the core of my being. Rebekah was exactly the way that the Lord created her and allowed her to be. And that if I wanted the joy and peace of being her mother, that I had better accept her and truly love her the way she was.
I remember when Rebekah was in the worse of her psychosis. She was seeing people attacking and persecuting her. She could see them stealing her things. She could hear them lying about her and laughing at her. She was angry and full of rage and hate. She would throw things at these imaginations. She would hit and pinch herself. She would scream and yell. And I would cry and cry out to God. And the Lord gently spoke to me and asked me if I would be like Abraham and "sacrifice" my child to God? I couldn't understand. Then the Lord asked me if I would sacrifice all of my dreams and goals and give my child fully to God? Such peace flooded my soul when I finally surrendered Rebekah 100 percent to the Lord God almighty.
It was a few months after that when Rebekah asked if she could join Special Olympics as she had such a competitive spirit. Reluctantly, I agreed. I was still afraid of her being classified "special needs" or "handicapped".
So, I decided that she could go and I would attend all of the practices with her. And I am so glad that I did. It was there that I fell head over heals for these athletes and learned to fully love and accept my child exactly the way she is. Sure these folks aren't "normal" according to most of the world, but they are supernormal to me.
I am so thankful to Jesus Christ for bringing Special Olympics into our lives. Rebekah shines and accels and is herself. She is comfortable and has so much fun. And I am at peace. Thank you Lord for the truth and blessings you have brought to me through this group of special people.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Happy Birthday

Today is my precious daughter's 27th birthday. She is truly a gift from God. I would love to tell you about this special lady. (It seems so weird that she is old enough to be a lady.)
Rebekah Elizabeth which means "bound to the promise of God" was the only child we would be blessed to have. At the age of three the doctor began to finally notice that there was something different about Bekah. (We had some idea, but didn't want to admit it.) She went through a lot of testing and it was determined that she had minimal organic brain disfunction. (Fancy words for "we don't want to label your child".) We were lead to believe that with the correct schooling and training our child would be "normal" by the age of 12. We worked and waited and worked and waited, but instead God used our daughter to teach us to love unconditionally and to accept our daughter for the special person that she was.
When Rebekah turned 16 we knew that things would never be "normal" and that our child was developing a mental illness. That was the saddest and scariest year of our lives. Finally she was put on medication that got things under control. And after much more testing, it was confirmed that our daughter was autistic. It was actually wonderful to know for sure what was causing Bekah to be the different, but wonderful person that she was.
These last few years have been the most enlightening of all. Rebekah is able to communicate more effectively who she is. She is intelligent, faithful, patriotic, godly, loyal, commited, athletic, inquisitive, thoughtful, serious and silly, strong, determined, focused and so much more.
The Lord has used this special person to teach me so many truths and blessings. I know that I would not be the person I am today, if it wasn't for the birth of my daughter 27 years ago.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

ARG!!!!

Anyone want an adult kid??? I am ready to give mine away. There are things she does (Or doesn't do) that drive me crazy. And right now, I am steaming.
But then the Lord comes along and reminds me of all the times that I mess up and all the times that he continues to keep me as his child, and forgive me, and clean up my messes. What an amazing Father he is. How he can continue to love someone like me who just messes up all the time, I cannot comprehend. I just know that he does. How do I know? Because his word, the Holy Bible. He promises that he will never leave me nor forsake me, and that nothing can separate me from the love of God. Nothing! When I accepted Christ as my Saviour, I became a part of his body...and he is not a masochist. The Father no longer sees me and all my sinfulness; he sees his holy son. Thank God!
So, I too can continue to be a mother to my adult child no matter what she does (or doesn't do) that drive me crazy. God also says in his Word that I (me) can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. When mind says that I can't go on, the Holy Spirit comes along and encourages me in the Word. I can do all things (including those things that seem to overwhelm me) through Christ (not in my own power, but in his almighty power). Amen!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter and CFS

I am so glad that we had our Easter family dinner yesterday. It was nice to have family here and to be able to prepare everything and not have to worry about it during church services. And I thank God that he held off my CFS attack until today. It isn't the greatest way to enjoy Easter Sunday, but this too shall pass.
This is the first time that I have had a full-blown CFS attack since I stopped taking perscription medications for my fibromyalgia. Part of me had hoped that my CFS was connected to the medications, but now I accept the truth. I have CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) and fibromyalgia. I am on the verge of tears as this is very frustrating and there is nothing I can do to get rid of either disorder.
I know there are those who don't understand nor believe that there are such disorders. But it is real and it is awful. Let me discribe today for you. I woke up feeling just like I had the flu. My throat hurt, I was nauseuos, I ached all over, and I wanted to do was sleep. I ate a piece of toast and went back to bed. I slept for two hours and woke up feeling the same as I did in the morning. I was able to eat a bowl of cereal. Within half an hour, I was back to bed. Again I slept. This time for nearly three hours. My throat and stomach felt better and I was ready to eat some leftovers for dinner. I've been able to stay awake, but am very tired and am just sitting here.
I have to live with the fibromyalgia on a constant basis. There are days when the pain is much worse, but the pain is there all the time. The pain is the worse in my elbows, knees, and right ankle. When it is bad, it hurts everywhere.
Daily exercise on my stationery, recumbent bike, as well as the exercise I get at work, do help me to feel better. I did water aerobics last summer and they helped the most. I wish I could have my own pool here at home. This summer I shall be able to go back to the aerobics class at the pool, but I just can't fit it into my schedule right now. Plus, I am just too worn out in the evening when I am working at the school.
So, what is the truth and blessing in all of this? I know that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and that "all things work together for the good of them that love God". Things could always be worse and I am so thankful to the Lord that He is sovereign, almighty, God of love and grace. He has blessed me so very much and I am grateful for CFS and fibromyalgia. These disorders allow me time to rest and spend time focused on the Lord.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Spring

I love this time of year. Spring, especially April, is a time of rebirth. I think that is why God chose it to be the time of Passover and the beginner of the new year in the Jewish calendar. The flowers are finally in bloom. My flowering cherry trees are a bright pink even on a dull, cloudy day. And the daffodils are a spot of yellow sunshine in the midst of the rain.
It was during this month that my beloved and I were "born-again". Our rebirth took place when we accepted Christ Jesus as our own personal Saviour. I was a messed up teenager living with a family in Colorado and Jerry was a sailor on his ship in the Philipines. We didn't even know each other and were half a world away, but both of us were saved within two days of each other: he on the 14th and me on the 16th.
A precious birth took place during this month almost 27 years ago and that was the birth of our daughter. Little did we know that she would be our one and only. We are so thankful for Rebekah. God has richly blessed and changed my life because of her.
Birth and rebirth, but the greatest blessing of the month was a death. The death of an innocent lamb. That was the focal point of Passover. A pure and perfect lamb was slain and its' blood was applied to the door of the house. When the death-angel passed through the land of Egypt, where the Jews were being help in slavery, it slayed the first-born of every household. Unless, the blood of the innocent lamb had been applied. This blood protected those within from the wrath of God.
Almost 2000 years ago another pure and perfect lamb was slain and his blood was shed. Jesus Christ, the perfect lamb of God, that died upon the cross, shedding his blood to pay the penalty for the sins of all the earth. Those who believe on him and receive him as their Saviour, when the death-angel comes, will be protected from the wrath of God. Is the blood applied to your life? Why don't you pray right now and ask the Lord Jesus to be your personal Saviour?!
Birth, life, death, and rebirth...that is why I like this time of year so much.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Guardianship

Who wants to be a parent to an adult child for the rest of their life? We never thought we would be one of the blessed few who are in this position. When our daughter was born almost 27 years ago, we had all sorts of dreams, desires, and goals for her. Instead, nearly all of those have gone by the wayside and new ideals have been born. So, here we are getting ready to become her legal guardians. Becoming "legal parents" to our adult child. It almost makes me want to scream. "This should not be happening!"
And then Truth comes to light. I am an adult child of my Father. And He will always provide and care for me. When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour, I became one with him. But at that same time, God the Father also adopted me. That's what the Bible means when it says that we are heirs and joint-heirs. As a part of the body of Christ, I am an heir. As an adopted child, I am a joint-heir. That is an awesome deal when you really think about it. Heir and joint-heir! God the Father has become my eternal-guardian parent.
So, it may not be the "norm" to become a "legal parent" to my adult daughter, but it is a blessing. I am very grateful to the Lord for allowing our daughter to be the special person that she is and for allowing us to be her parents for as long as we live.