Saturday, December 8, 2012

post 101

I didn't realize that my last post was number 100. So, for those of you who have a hard time counting, that makes this post number 101. I'm not sure what I will post about yet, but just let the Lord lead.
Highway 101 is one of my favorite highways to travel. I especially love taking it through Oregon as it travels along the beautiful Oregon coast. I love the ocean and wish that I could visit it every day. It just amazes me how that God is able to hold back all of the oceans that cover all of the world from overflowing all of the land. Think about how destructive a localized tidal wave can be. Could you imagine that happening on a worldwide scale? I know I sure can't! If it wasn't for God keeping the ocean under His control, that is exactly what would happen.
I remember very clearly an incident that occured a few years ago during this time of year. My sister, husband, and I took a long weekend trip to Lincoln City, OR. We went to the Devil's Chasm located about an hour south of town. It was one of those rare, sunny, beautiful days that we get in the northwest after a particularly stormy day. The tide was up and there were storm surge waves causing gigantic splashes to come roaring into the chasm. Jerry and I decided to hike ourselves down to the rocky edges and get an up-close view and take some awesome pictures of the waves as the crashed against the end wall of the cliff. And we did. Waves were splashing 40 feet into the air.
We were making our way back out of the chasm and over to the hiking path where my sister was waiting and taking pictures of us. Out of nowhere came a huge wave that crashed against the front of the chasm. Just in the nick of time, I shoved my camera and cellphone into my "dryside"pocket". That wave grew in height until it was over our heads and coming straight at us. Jerry was on my "wetside" and took the full force of the wave as it crashed over our heads. He was drenched and I was soaked through in several areas. The three of us broke out in screams and laughter and screams of laughter. My "wet-side" pocket was full of ocean water. My hair hung in wet streams. Jerry's clothes clung to his body as did my jeans. The cold wind blew right through our wet clothing and made us freeze. My sister used her bandana to get our faces as dry as she could. Jerry and I then left her behind to quickly hike ourselves up the cliff. Jerry had to remove his dripping jacket and clinging jeans. I wrapped him in the heavy blanket that "lives" in our van. I had another jacket that I was able to use to get my self warm and dry. By the time my sister finally made it back up the hill and to the van, Jerry and I were nice and warm., Warm...yes.
The miracle of it all was the fact that just a minute earlier we would have been killed. We had been standing right on the edge of the chasm watching huge drift logs as they rolled and heaved in the waves. If the giantic wave had caught us at that time it would have thrown us off our feet and into the chasm where we would have been crushed by those same logs. Thank God we "listened" when the Holy Spirit advised us to move on to safer ground. When we got home, we were sad to learn  that a couple of teenage girls had died on that same day. They were hit by a storm-surge wave that had caught them by surprise. They had been sitting on a log on the beach watching the ocean. The rouge wave knocked them backward off of the log causing them severe head damage and then drowning.
There have been so many times that I know the Lord has intervened on my behave and kept me safe. But the greatest of all, was when He touched my heart and mind causing me to realize that I needed to accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Saviour. Obeying that call has not only saved my life here on earth, but for all of eternity. It has saved me from sin, from Satan, from my self, and from so much more.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Haven't been here in a while. Just didn't feel like writing because I often wonder if it is even worth it to do this. I appreciate those of you who do follow this blog. Sorry about being on a pity party or whatever you want to call it. The fibro has been pretty bad this year, but there are blessings with it also. Earlier this week, I was talking with one of our FBI students and realized that I had only missed two classes this semester whereas last year I had to miss twice that amount. Not working has really made a difference. I am so blessed by the Lord that I am able to stay home and take care of my little family. God has given my beloved husband a great job which has always provided for all our needs. And having our precious, adult daughter still living with us has also provided me with the ability to earn a little extra money from the state. We are fully blessed and are able to use some of that money to continue to be a blessing to others that are in need. It is also going to enable us to take a month-long vacation to Arizona to see if the warmth helps my fibro. Looking forward to that amazing blessing. All praise to our God who daily loadeth us with blessings.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Yielding Rights #2

This posting may not be appropriate for minors or for those who get easily offended.

A few weeks ago, I posted about my daughter and the lesson of yielding rights. I thought that it was finally time to tell my story about a part of my life that I don't often share. It is how I learned to not only yield my rights, but also how to forgive.
When I was 30 years old, I was so full of anger and bitterness that you could not get within three feet of me. I did not like for anyone to hug me or touch me, except for my daughter and husband. I trusted no one, not even God. Life was dark and miserable all the time. I had no joy nor any peace. My mind was tormented by constant thoughts of suicide and hatred. It was hell on earth. As a christian, I had a head knowledge about most of the Bible, but almost no spiritual knowledge. My brain was a sponge and a rock at the same time. I could take in the information, but could not and would not apply it to my life.
In January of that year, our pastor told us that we would be having a revival the end of April. He wanted us to start having prayer meetings in folks' home every week. Since my husband was (and still is) a deacon in the church and we were very involved in many ministries in the church, we felt that we needed to open our home to the prayer meetings and go to some as well. During those weekly prayer meetings, God began to move in my heart and mind. I wanted Him to show me the sin in my life, but when He did, I kept repeating that I had a right to those sins because of what had occured in my life. I didn't want to confess that they were sins, because I believed that I had a right to think the way that I wanted.
When, I was a child, I was sexually abused for years. I was also verbally abused for even more years. I grew up not having any idea of what was real love. So, I became sexually promiscuous at a young age because that's what I thought love was. I was then raped as a young adult. I hated my relatives for not protecting me. I was so angry with them that I sometimes wished that I could hurt them as much as I was hurting. Those who were closest to me, my own family, had failed. Not only had they failed, some of them were to blame. I couldn't wait to get away from my parents and yet, I was too scared to be alone.
I went to live with my oldest brother and his wife for a few months and felt some love and peace. They took me to a good church where I began to hear about salvation. I thought that I already was saved because I had walked down the church aisle when I was eight years old. (You can read about that in one of my earlier postings.) However, a couple months later, my brother's job got transferred and I would have to go back home. I went, but within a month, I was back in Colorado living with some family friends. Life was horrible, but it was better than being at home. The best thing to come from living away from my family was that I got saved and began to change. I still hated my family, but would at least say I was sorry when I got in an arguement with my mom.
Fast forward several years. I got married to a wonderful man and we had several miscarries, then I wound up needed a total hysterectomy at the age of 27, and our only child was diagnosed with developmental disabilities. I was MAD! Mad at God, mad at my family, mad at myself, mad at mankind. And I thought I has every right to be that way.
And then God began to show me the truth. I was not prepared. It was a sunny April day and I was out on our front porch when the Holy Spirit spoke to. No, not some audible voice and revelation, but that still, small voice within my soul. He told me that He had already forgiven those who had hurt me. I was shocked and couldn't believe it. I replied that He couldn't. And this is how the conversation continued.
HS: I forgave them when Jesus died on the cross and shed His blood to pay for the sins of all mankind.
Me: Noooo!!! They hurt me too much for you to forgive them.
HS: Not only did I forgive them, but I also love them.
Me: WHAT??? You can't love them. They are wicked and they sinned against me. How could you love them?
HS: I love them because I am love. And I love them as much as I love you.
Me: You love them as much as you love me? They have no right. They sinned.
HS: Yes, they have sinned, but so have you.
Me: But I have a right to my feelings. My sins aren't as bad as their sins.
HS: You have no rights. Your sin is just as bad as their sin. It is sin that sent Jesus to the cross. Your sin and their sin. I love them and I love you. I forgive them and I forgive you. Will you obey me and yield your rights?
Me: Yes, Lord.
It was later that evening, in our church, where we were having a God sent revival, that the Holy Spirit was finally able to fully break me and begin to heal me. With tears pouring down my face, I confessed my sins...and there were so many of them that needed to come out. I thanked God for His forgiveness and cleansing according to I John 1:9, "If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive our sin, and to cleanse from all unrighteousness." I was able to yield my rights and die to myself (see Rom.6, 12, and Gal.2:20). Then Jesus could begin to fill me with His truth and with the Holy Spirit.
So, was it a one time for all situation? Nope! I must "die daily" and constantly yield my rights and myself to the Lord. And He is faithful to fill me with Himself and with His truth. Yielding rights isn't something that we are taught to do here in America. Instead we are often encouraged to demand our rights. That is the way of the world. But as a Christian, this world is not my home, worldly doctrines aren't my truth; I claim the truth form the only source of truth and that is the Word of God and I yield my rights to the Lord. If you want to be blessed, then you would be wise to do the same thing.

Just Praising God

"In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:18. "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20
As I prepare to do some counseling, I have been looking back over the last twenty years. (Ack, How in the world can that be? 20 years already? I can't be that old.) It is just so awesome and amazing to me the mighty work that God has done in my life and I cannot begin to give Him the praise which He deserves. The Lord has healed me of tremendous pain. He has changed the very thoughts of my mind into those which are true. God has given to me His peace and joy. He has taken away the aweful and replaced it with the awesome. The Lord has freed me from the bondage and delivered me into His glorious freedom.
Twenty years ago, I was a woman who was full of hate and anger and bitterness and lies. I was so wrapped up in my self that I couldn't see anyone else. Darkness clouded all of my thoughts and depression was my familiar friend. Many a time I considered suicide as the only way to be set free from the torment I endured. And then, God began to show me the truth from His Holy Word and the Holy Spirit began to convict me of my sins and the Lord Jesus Christ cleansed me from every sin and unrighteousness.
Over the years, God has continued to work in my heart and mind to help me speak the truth in love to myself. I remember the day, just about six years ago, that I could finally look myself in the eye (using a mirror, of course. Would have been kind of impossible otherwise.), and say to myself, "You are forgiven and I love you." Up until that day, I had so much hate towards the person that lived inside this body. I felt like I was just a piece of smelly poop that wasn't worth anything. But the Holy Spirit reminded me of God's truth: that I God loves me with an overwhelming love and that nothing I do or don't do can ever change that fact. And now, I look forward to the Lord using me to help someone else who is in pain.
As I looked back in my photo albums and realized the amazing and wondrous work that God has done in my life, I can't help but praise Him and thank Him and exalt Him and praise Him.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Yielding Rights

Recently, my daughter, has been talking to me about folks that have had the right to feel or do certain things. She is trying to justify in her mind why people have done what they have done. Being autistic, it is hard for her to understand "cause and effect". So, she was talking to me and trying to figure it out. I admit that most times I don't know why we do what we do, other than we just choose to do it and make our excuses later. All I can do is look at the facts of what has happened and usually don't even try to figure out why it happened. But my daughter has always been one to ask "why" questions. I think that is her way of trying to make sense of the world around her.
So, when I noticed that she was trying to rationalize everything by saying that folks had every right to do what they do, it made me realize that I had neglected to teach her the Biblical lesson of yielding rights. Well, I got right on that lesson. And I thought I would do the same in this posting.
Nowhere in the Bible do we see that we are to demand our rights. Nowhere in the Bible will you even find that we have rights. We do have blessings that are available to us. Many of those blessings are contingent on us doing something correct before we will receive those blessings. And many of those blessings are reserved for those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Saviour. For example: John 11:25, "Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:" A promise of life after death for those who believe in Jesus. That is a conditional promise. You will have eternal life if you believe on Jesus. (Which means that the opposite is also will NOT have eternal life if you do NOT believe on Jesus.) Now for an unconditional promise made to those who have already believed on Jesus and have accepted Him as their Saviour...Romans 8:38-39," For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Guess what? There are also some promises for those who do not accept Jesus. They are found in Revelation 20:12-15," And I saw the dead (unsaved), small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened (you get to stand before God Almighty): and another book was opened, which was the book of life (if your name is not written in this book, then you are not saved from the judgment of God): and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works (yep, you will be judged for what you did while you were here on planet earth).
And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them (guess where you get to go after you die if you do not accept Jesus as Saviour?!): and they were judged every man (and woman) according to their works (nope, this judgment is not to figure out if you were good enough to go to heaven; we already know that you don't).
And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.
And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire." (That is the promise of where you will spend eternity if you don't receive Jesus.)
So, you see that there are promises in the Bible for all people. Nowhere, I repeat NOWHERE in the Bible will you find that you have any rights. Instead, we have responsibilities. Those that are specifically for this day and age can be found throughout the books of Romans to Philemon. They are written by the Apostle Paul to the church. And if you have received Jesus, then you are a part of the church. It is our God-given duty to yield to and obey the Bible. If you want to demand something, demand that your self does what it is suppose to do according to God's Word. Here is one such responsibility that I think covers all of the other responsibilities that we have, because it goes to the very heart of the matter..."the why". Colossians 3:17, "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."
The yielding of our rights (which we don't have anyways) and the taking up our responsibilities (of which we have many)...that is what a true christian should strive to do daily. It is the truth and it will bring God's blessings.

Sunday, July 15, 2012


I was asked to do a devotion for the bridal shower of one of my friends. I thought that I would share it as a post on my blog. All praise goes to the Lord God for my marriage of 33 years. It would not have lasted this long if it hadn't been for God.

Dear Sally,                                                                 July 14, 2012

I was very honored to be asked by your aunt Alice to share a devotion for your bridal shower. However, since today is my 33rd wedding anniversary, I am not able to attend your shower. So, I thought I would write this instead and have it read by someone.

What is marriage? I think the best description comes from Ephesians 5 where Paul talks about how marriage is like the relationship of the church and Christ. (You may turn to the text and read the following.) Verses 22-25, and 28-33 explain how the wife and the husband are to treat one another. Basically, it is with love and respect and submission. If you want to have a successful marriage, then you need to obey God’s Word. Sometimes that is hard to do, but God not only gives the instructions for us to follow, He also gives us the ability to follow it. We just have to yield our will to do His will.

I know that your grandpa likes to use alliterations in his teaching and preaching, so I thought I would use his example and create an acrostic about marriage. So, here are a few things to bring into your married life.

M = Memories. Treasure each one because if you don’t you will begin to forget. Make each moment have meaning. Even if it is just sitting together watching television. It is amazing how quickly time passes and before you know it, you will have been married for years.

A = Admiration. A man needs to be admired by his wife. Give him lots of praise, even for stuff that you think is meaningless. To him it means that you love him and need him.
R = Respect or reverence. This goes along with admiration. You need to respect your man always. There will be times when it is hard to submit to him, but God says for us to trust in the Lord with all your heart. God can make it turn out for your good. Reverence means to be in awe of. Once you realize what a blessing it is to have your husband, you will learn to thank God for everything that your man does or doesn’t do. I remember several years ago when I was once again grumbling about picking up the dirty clothes left on the floor by my beloved. The Holy Spirit asked me if I would rather have my husband or a spotless floor. I decided right then and there that I would never again complain about my husband leaving stuff wherever. Those items are a daily reminder that I still have my wonderful man living with me.
R = Responsibility. Yield your rights and claim your responsibilities. Get into God’s Word and discover how to be the godly wife, and some day, the godly mother, that the Lord desires you to be. Also read good books written by godly women that can help and encourage you.

I = Ignore. Don’t look at the world. Don’t compare your man, your marriage, or yourself with those around you.

A = Admit. When you have made a mistake, when you have sinned, when you have really messed up (yes, it happens to all of us), then you need to admit your fault not only to Christ, but also to your husband. It is amazing what humility can do to lift you up.

G = Give. When you accepted Christ as you Saviour, you basically gave your life to Him. Once you become a wife, you are giving yourself to your husband. It isn’t a one time occasion. You must give yourself always, even when you don’t feel like it.

E = Enjoy. Spend every moment together that you can. Have fun. It doesn’t mean that you have to do something elaborate. Just enjoy being with your husband. If the Lord should bless you with children, your time alone with your husband will be limited. But you need to make time to be alone. I know that there is no other person in my life with whom I would rather spend one moment than with my husband. We love being together. He loves it when I am with him even if it is to just sit there while he is getting his eyes examined.

There is so much more that I could say, but time is limited. And part of marriage is the learning. You can’t teach a child everything that they need to know before they are ready to learn. The same is true in a marriage. There are lessons that God will want you to learn, but He won’t teach them to you until He knows that you are ready for them. Some of the lessons will be hard, just like trying to learn trigonometry. And some of the lessons will be easy, like learning to count. Some lessons will be fun and others won’t. But in every situation, trust in the Lord, wait patiently on Him, obey when He directs, and praise God for His love.

As I close this letter, my prayers go with you and Matt. May the Lord richly bless you and your new life together as husband and wife. Love, Alice J.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Corrupt Communications

Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."
Corrupt: (Strong's Concordance) rotten, worthless, bad, corrupt.
Communtication: (ibib) something said (including the thought)...
About a month ago I was reading through the book of Ephesians in the Bible when the verse above just really convicted me. Actually it was the Holy Spirit that convicted me through this verse. (Whatever!) For some wicked reason I have had a real problem this year with how I talk to my beloved husband. There was a whole lot more complaining coming out of my mouth that I could imagine. (Sin comes in so many ways. And the enticements are so irresistable at times.) I hated that I was being such a nag and such a complainer. I would hate myself whenever I realized what I was doing, but it seemed like I couldn't help myself. I tried to blame it on one of the medications that I take for my fibro. (One of the side effects is that it causes irritation to the brain and can make you feel more angry.) But I wasn't taking that much of this medication anymore because of that side effect. So, I couldn't use it as an excuse. Then I tried to blame it on my spouse. That he was deliberately doing things that he knew irritated me. But he wasn't doing anything new. So, I couldn't use that as an excuse. Then I tried to blame all the extra pain that I am in, but I have been in pain before and haven't been this sinful. So, that excuse didn't work either.
Plain and simple...the only one to blame...myself. I had chosen to sin by the actions that I took. And the Holy Spirit lovingly, but boldly showed me my sin through Eph. 4:29. (I love it when He does that.) Right then and there, I confess and repented of my sin, put my full trust once again in the Lord, and have chosen to obey His Word.
In doing the further "research" in the Strong's Concordance on the Greek meanings of the two words obey, I am further convicted that my communication isn't just what I say but also what I think. So, I choose to obey this verse fully. Let NO corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is GOOD to the use of edifying (building up and encouraging), that it may minister grace to the hearers."
So, what are you saying? What are you thinking? Is it good? Does it edify the hearer of it?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Four steps

My daughter told me that I need to do a new post on my blog. That it has been too long...and she is right. I should post as soon as the Lord gives me an idea, because if I don't, then I forget what it was I meant to post. But this time, I remember because it is a new truth that I am trying to not only learn but to also implament in my life.
In our church's Bible Institute, the instructor was talking about how to have change and real victory in our lives. So, I want to share that with all of you.
It is easy to read the Bible and then think, "Oh, I needed that. I am going to do that in my life." or, "The Lord is showing me that I need to stop doing this other thing." We can read God's Word and have the very best of intentions. We can even memorize verses that we think will help us. But it takes more.
I know in my own life that there have been many times when the Holy Spirit has encouraged me to start doing certain things. And I know of so many other women who have tried to do the right thing and have had counseling and have "failed" to change and have victory.
So here are the four steps that we were taught in Faith Bible Institute:
1. You need to read the Bible. You can never know the will of God for your life if you aren't in His Word.
2. You next need to believe the Bible. James is pretty clear that if you don't have faith, you won't succeed.
3. The first two steps are where most of us do just fine. But we must have this next step and that is to Yield to the Holy Spirit as He speaks to you through the Bible. You have to yield your rights and expectations. You must yield to the Lord control of whatever area He is desiring.
4. This one seems simple enough, but it isn't. You now need to obey the Word.
I would also add that you need to rightly divide the Bible so that you do not try to apply to your life instructions that do not apply to you. Those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Saviour need to keep our focus on the books written by Paul. He is the apostle to the "church". I would also add that you do not need to be "hyper obedient" to be righteous. You already are righteous when you accept Christ in your life. It is His righteousness that becomes your righteousness. What God wants is for us to be more and more like His Son. He wants us to love one another and be His ambassadors in all that we do. And one more thing that I want to need to confess your sins. If there is something that the Holy Spirit shows you in God's Word and if it has been a sin in your life, then before you try to change, you must confess your sin. And of course, whatever you do, you must pray. Prayer allows you to realize that you can do all things through Christ which strengthens you.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Priority of church

"We are pleased to let you know that we have decided to offer you the position. The job starts next week." I loved to hear those words when I was trying to get a job...especially if it was a job that I really, really wanted. Then comes the meeting with HR to get the policy manual, fill out all the paperwork, and go through orientation. By the time I was done, I knew what the employer was expecting from me. Every day I went to work and did my best to be the best employee that I could be. They told me the hours that I had to work and I was never late...even on snow days. If ever I couldn't remember what was a part of my job description, I could always look at the manual. If ever I had a question or concern about something, I could always look at the manual. And if it didn't have the answer or if I couldn't fully understand what was in the manual, I could go to a supervisor or HR, and they would help me.
It just amazing me that we can put such a priority on doing a good job at our job and then neglect what should be a much higher priority...going to church. I have heard so many excuses about why folks don't go or why they seldom go or why they don't go to Sunday school or why they don't go to evening services. I wonder if I would have still had a job if I had used the same excuses?! So, why don't we put a higher priority on church attendance? I believe it is because we don't love the church.
This last semester in Faith Bible Institute we studied the book of Ephesians. Again I was struck by chapter five and the duties that wives and husbands have to each other. (But that is another post.) The verse that really touched my heart is verse 25," Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it." Christ loved the church and gave himself for it! The church didn't even exist when Jesus died on the cross, but he still loved her and knew that she would come into existance soon. Jesus, God loves the church and gave himself for it. Are you starting to grasp what grasped my heart? JESUS CHRIST, GOD, LOVES THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT!!!
How dare I get my priorities mixed up and put my job above the church. Jesus did not give up his life's blood for any job. He died for the church. How dare I make myself conform to the policies of my job and then turn around and do whatever I want when it concerns the church. Jesus loves the church. How dare I bite my tongue at my place of employment when someone offends me and when it happens at church, I get offended and leave. Christ loves the church and gave himself for it.
If I can discipline myself  for work every day, then I can do the same thing for church. I used to get to work by 7:30am five days a week even though I didn't have to be there until 8:15. I used to leave work at the end of my work day, and not a minute early. I used to even go to extra classes so I could be a better informed employee, even though it was not required of me. When I was at work, I would give it my full attention. (I can no longer work due to disabilities.)
So, what is my point? What is the truth and blessing that I am trying to convey? Discipline yourself. Love the church. You won't be able to love it as much as Jesus does, but you can still love the church and give yourself for it. Go to Sunday school. Go to worship service in the morning and in the evening. Go to Life-group. Get involved in anything and everything that the church has to offer. Get into the "manual"...the Bible. And I believe that God will bless you with not only truth, but blessings in every area of your life.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Truth and Blessing

Lately, well, actually for the last several months I have been rereading the book titled, "Telling Yourself The Truth" and now "Finding the Freedom of Self-Control" both by William Backus. It is eye-opening and humbling to see how far I have fallen.
Years ago, many, many years ago, our Ladies' group studied "Telling Yourself the Truth". It was then that the Lord was able to begin a very mighty work in my life. I had been so used to the lies that I believed and was so miserable that I didn't want to go on living. But when I realized the fact that I had been lying to myself and believing those lies, was when I finally received freedom from them. My life changed for the better. God showed me sin after sin and forgave me of each and every one as I confessed them. It was like having weights removed from my heart and mind. I was able to live in freedom and victory.
But over the years and especially more recently, I once again began to lie to myself and believe those lies. Once again, life was miserable. Not fun! Then one day, the Lord motivated me to reread that book. It was again the truth that I needed to see.
The Truth? What is the only Truth? God's Word, the Holy Bible. That is the one thing that we can believe. Of course our lies may tell us to not trust the Bible. But I say, why would I choose to trust my lies instead of the Bible? I choose to believe God's Word. That is the real Truth and Blessing.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Bekah turns 30

As most of you know, I have one child, my daughter Rebekah. She is such a blessing in my life and I thank God every day for allowing me to be her mom. The Lord has used this special child to change me in so many ways. I know that I have wrote about this before, but I just have to say again, that I love my precious daughter and wouldn't trade her for anything.
She is the "middle" child of all the pregnancies I had. I miscarried twice before she was born and at least twice after she was born. After I had my hysterectomy when I was only 27, I was told that I shouldn't have even had her. The doctor said that my insides were so messed up that he said it was a miracle that I could carry a child to term.
Of all the children that I could have had, the Lord allowed me to have a "special" one. Rebekah is autistic and has mental illnesses. But more than anything else, she is a blessing and that's the truth.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

I know that hardly anyone will read this post since I haven't been posting much and don't have a very large audience. However, if only one person reads this and tries to live a better life, it will be worth my time.
Today I learned of another young person who has been faithful in attenting church, but has decided to turn away from the Lord. It is so very sad whenever anyone does that, but it seems to happen more and more with young adults. Why?
I can clearly remember when I was that age. I had accepted Christ as my Saviour when I was sixteen, but had been attending church all of my life. When I was seventeen I was out of high school and attending the local community college. It was there that I began to question my beliefs. Since I was still a baby christian, it was really easy for me to listen to the lies I was hearing at this secular college. I didn't leave the church and I didn't turn my back on God, but I did do some things that I have regretted for the rest of my life. It was easy to justify my sins  back then because I was so wrapped up in the world and didn't want to be thought of as a weirdo. I wanted friends and I wanted acceptance. So, I did what the world did and I continued to go to church. Sad.
As I began to grow in my relationship with Christ, I realized my sins and repented of them. I now strive to live a life that is always according to His Word and His Will. I love Him so much and am so thankful for all that He has done and is doing for me.
However, I can't help but wonder if there is something we christians should be doing to encourage young adults to stay strong in their walk with the Lord. What can I do to help them know that Jesus is worth more than everything the world has to offer? Pray more for them? I don't know. Do you?

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Depression number whatever

Depression...such a rotten thing. Anyone who has read my blog knows that I have dealt with this rotten thing for many years. Depression is not fun and it is so embarrassing to admit that you have it. But the Bible says that we are to give thanks always for all things unto God and the father. So, the same God that created me, saved me, and always abides with me, has allowed this mental illness into my life. And if you are living with depression, He has allowed it into your life also. Why? I don't know! But this I do know....God has promised to go with you through it. Psalms 23, "Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (which is what depression feels like to me), I will fear no evil (yes, evil is there in that valley of depression to make you feel even worse), for thou (God almighty) art with me (God is with me). And God is with you. He promised in Hebrews that He would never leave you nor forsake you. And in Romans we have the promise that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from the love of God.
It has come to my knowledge that there are several ladies in my church who are living with depression. I am so sorry. But this is an opportunity for us to pray for one another, encourage each other, and grow in our relationship with the LORD. What a blessing.
One thing that I would like to say to those of you who are living with depression...don't allow it to rule your life. Don't allow it to become a crutch. What do I mean? Satan and self would love for us to stay away from church and from Godly fellowship with others. Pride tends to rise up and make us believe that we can't go to church or be with our Godly family. We tend to feel that we aren't good enough and think that others will think less of us if we aren't "perfect". I know, because I tend to believe those lies that I tell myself. The only reason that I believe we should spend time alone, is if we are fully and completely overwhelmed by the depression and will spend that quiet time in prayer and in God's Word. Otherwise, it becomes easier and easier for us to make excuses to not go to church nor to take part in Godly fellowship. Hebrews also says that we are not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. We need each other. Personally, I know that I need you. I love my sisters and brothers and just seeing you at church and at Life Group is a tremendous encouragement to me always.
So, will you join me? I thank God for you and I thank God (by faith) for Him allowing me to live with depression...and to know that there are others who live with it also.

Monday, February 13, 2012


My mom has dementia. She gets stuck on a subject and will revisit it often, and I mean often, until she gets stuck on another subject. Actually she has a few subjects that she can be stuck on at the same time. Last year it was the trees and the clouds and the "boyfriends" that she had. I don't know how many times we heard about Art Ritis, Luke Emia, and Al Simers. It was nice when she finally got onto another topic, but then she got stuck on it.
Please realize that I love my momma very, very much and thank the LORD that I still have her as a physical part of my life. She isn't the woman that she used to be and that is sometimes sad. However, she is here and lives near-by and I can still enjoy her company.
For the last few months my mom is stuck on the subject of my younger brother and myself being her "oops children". Yes, we were a surprise. My mom already had one boy and her one girl. She thought she was done. Then, nine years later I came along and only thirteen months later my younger brother arrived. So, technically, I guess we are her "oops children". But that was over 50 years ago!
I like to think of us as her "gift children". A surprise gift from God. Those who don't think God has a sense of humor, haven't been noticing the funny stuff that He allows.
Another subject my mom is stuck on also concerns my younger brother and myself. And that is the color of our hair. She keeps accusing us of dying it. (I admit that I do, but not more than three times a year.) Our genetics are such that we just don't get grey until we are older. However, if you look close enough there are a few. My brother just keeps his so short that you can't see his.
So, I decided to find a picture of my mom from when she was my age. I looked through my photo albums and found a nice one of her reclining on the couch with our favorite dog, Chi-Chi. (Chi-Chi was a tiny, deer chihauhau that we had from the time she was just six weeks old until she was 16 years.) It was hard for me to realize that my mom was my age when that photo was taken. I remember it so well.....
And that is where the real truth and blessing are to be found!
That picture of my mom was taken 32 years ago, right after Jerry and I had gotten married. The two of us had just returned from San Diego, I had just turned 20, we had to live with my parents because the economy was falling and the job Jerry had waiting for him was gone. It was a horrible time in my life and I hated my parents because of things that had happened in my youth. (I may write about those at some other time.)
Looking at my mom, I thought of how I would feel if I was her. She was a mean mom and was dealing with her own problems, but I had no right to hate her. I wonder if I hurt her? How could I not? Maybe that is why she retaliated back in such hurtful ways to me.
And then, while looking at the photo, the Lord reminded me of how much He loves us and how much He has done in our lives to forgive us, and how He has healed all of the pain and sorrow that we had back then. It is amazing and oh so wonderful. It is hard to believe what life was like way back then, but it is even harder to believe that God would take these rotten sinners and forgive them of their sins and change their hearts.
So, I give all thanks and praise to the Lord. Thanks for my precious momma. Thanks for forgiving us and healing us with Your amazing love. Thanks for her dementia and getting stuck on subjects. Thanks for showing me this photo and reminding me of Your grace and mercy.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

No higher calling

     The other night I was on a tiny little pity party. I couldn't breath because I had a sinus infection and my body just ached from a fibro flare-up. It was time for bed and I felt sorry for myself. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. When I get to feeling sorry for myself, I sink into sin. My thoughts all focus on me and what I have had to "give up" because of my health issues. Oh rotten self starts to believe the lies that come from the swill of my brain. Lies that claim God doesn't love me and that if He did I wouldn't be sick, I would be able to do all of the things that I want to do. Lies that claim I am a failure. Lies that claim life isn't fair because I have had more than my share of suffering. Lies, lies, lies.
     However, this night, the Holy Spirit was right there to counter those sinfilled lies. The lie that was trying to overwhelm my brain the most was the lie that God doesn't love because I can't do the things that I used to be able to do. Immediately the Holy Spirit asked me why God had created me in the first place?! Why did God create woman? Genesis 2 tells us that man (Adam) was placed by God in the Garden of Eden and that he was alone. Verse 18, "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." So, God created woman (Eve) from one of Adam's ribs. Verse 23 & 24, "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall becalled Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
     I knew right then and there, that I have no higher calling than to be the wife of my precious husband. To be a mother is an amazing blessing. To be able to work with children is a wonderful gift. To be able to write, to teach, to mentor, to do anything at all is truly a blessing. But to be a wife, a wife of a man that loves God, to be a christian wife to a christian man....for me there is no greater job. I know that there are some out there who believe that to be a wife is to be a "slave", a "servant", a "doormat" for a man to do with as he pleases. In very few cases they are correct. But I truly believe the Word of God, that God created me to be a wife, an help meet for my husband.
     Jerry needs me and I need him. Jerry loves me and I love him. Jerry loves for me to help him and I love to be able to help him as much as I can. In spite of my fibro, there is nothing greater that I can do than to be an helpmeet for my husband. Praise the LORD!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Faith in Facts

Just want you all to know that I am having a bad day. My fibromyalgia has been flairing for several days, I woke up fatigued, and I am very depressed. With that said, I am still thankful and can see God's blessings in spite of everything. He loves me. He abides with me. He shall bring me through this trial as He has every single other time that I have gone through.
Having depression is awful, but it does not have to overwhelm. I make myself remember God's Word. It is the only Truth that I have. If I was to base my faith on my feelings, I would have become an agnostic decades ago. Instead, I force myself to place my faith in facts. And those facts are only found in the Bible. I choose to believe His Word, instead of the lies my brain tells me when I am in the slough of depression.
I know that this too shall pass and that God will never leave me nor forsake me.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

New Year Resolution

I know that at this time of the year many of us look back and reflect on last year and or try to look forward to the new year by setting resolutions. I usually do the same thing every year. But this year I haven't really made any resolutions. I am trying to make my life easier and by not having a list of goals that I am trying to accomplish it does make life seem simplier. However, it also leaves me feeling like I am drifting along just floating to no where in particular. As a very organized person, I need to have some direction. So, this morning during my special time with the Lord the thought came go my mind, "What goal or command would Jesus give to me if He was speaking to me directly in person?" Instantly, the Holy Spirit brought to mind the greatest command of all. It is the command that Jesus did speak personally two thousand years ago. You can find it in the Gospels and it still applies to all christians today. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all the heart, and soul, and mind, and strength."
I truly believe that if we were to let that command guide all that we do, it would radically change the way we live. It would change the way we think. It would change the world. If we love the Lord our God with all of our being, then we will seek to please Him in every single thing that we do. We wouldn't have to worry about whether we were doing the right thing. We wouldn't have to make any other resolutions because all that we do would be based on our love for the Lord.
So, my resolution this year is one that anyone and everyone who claims Christ as Saviour should also have as their resolution for this year. To love the Lord our God will all our heart, to love the Lord our God will all our soul, to love the Lord our God with all our mind, and to love the Lord our God will all our strength.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


Paul writes that he had to learn contentment. Paul, the greatest christian had to learn contentment. Contentment is learned and can be learned by anyone who truly knows the Lord. There is no real contentment apart from God. So, how do we learn contentment? First by confessing your sin of discontent. Yes, discontent is a sin because God says that we are to be thankful for everything. That is the second thankful. Start making a list and keep adding to it every day. I love to drive alone and just thank God for everything as He and I drive along. There have been a couple of times when I started out the trip in a bad mood, but when I start giving thanks, before I realize that it has happeded, I feel so much happier.
I learned a big lesson in contentment a month ago. It is hard to have fibromyalgia. It is even harder to be truly thankful for it. And even harder for me to be content in the fact that this is God's will. Last August, I was feeling much better and thought that I would be able to go back to work as a para-educator, so long as I didn't have to do anything too physical. I was hired as a substitute for the local school district and hoped that it would help me get a full hire. I applied for so many positions and couldn't figure out why I wasn't being called to interview for the positions I really wanted. However, I got interviewed for every job that I did not desire.
Early in October I started in a position that became a long-term sub job. I loved it there and thought that I had finally found the job for me. But they never interviewed for the job once they had posted it. Then, my fibromyalgia began to flare up really bad. I definately was not content even though I was doing a job that I loved. Doing this subbing also made it hard for me to do anything except for the job. I could no longer mentor. I couldn't help with the Christmas program. I was too sore to stay at church. I was tired all the time and so sore. Then, I had a super bad flare up at work and had to go home sick and sleep the rest of the day. It was then that I knew beyond a doubt that God did not want me to work outside of my home.
As I read through my 2011 journal last week, I discovered how discontent I had been concerning fibromyalgia and the inability for me to work at an outside job. I could see the Lord at work. He was the one who had kept me from getting interviewed for the jobs that I had wanted. He knew that if I had gotten hired for any of those positions, I would have had to resign because of the fibro. I did resign from even doing subbing and I am so content. I have absolute peace and joy from the Lord that this is His will for me. I am able to mentor once again. I am able to support my family and take good care of them. I am able to work with my husband in starting our new Lifegroup. And this morning I was asked to write a script for our churches Easter program. (That was a blessing because I felt that God was encouraging me to do script writing once again.)
Contentment can be learned and is something that we must learn and practice every single moment of every day. Thanks be to God for all things.