"A son's a son, 'til he takes a wife. A daughter's a daughter all of her life." This was a favorite saying of my mother. It was meant to make me understand why my older brother didn't spend much time with us after he got married. They spent much more time with his wife's family and since I was a child I didn't understand why. So, my mom explained it to me by using one of her favorite sayings. (It still didn't help me to understand.)
It wasn't until I became a wife eight years later that I finally got the idea. A woman is just more comfortable with her own family and the husband is usually willing to please his wife. I know that is a fact in my marriage. However, this saying has taken on a deeper meaning to me as a mother of an adult daughter who is autistic and has mental illness.
Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined having a child with disabilities. My hopes, dreams, and prayers were for several "above-average" children. (Actually, I know now, it was my pride that wanted my children to be "above-average".) Not only did God have other plans for me, He had plans that were deeper and wider than my mind could comprehend. He would allow me to have at least four miscarries. He would allow my only child to be different. He would use that child and her disabilities to change me in tremendous ways. He would humble me. And He would make it so that I would have my daughter for the rest of her life (or mine.)
It is hard to be a mother of an adult child. Even though she is technically 29 years old, she is really only 10 years old. Her behaviors are so immature. Her thought processes are so strange. Her social skills are extremely limited. And there are times when she just drives me crazy. Just when I think that she is making real progress, she goes and proves me wrong. It can be so frustrating.
Her life has always been "two steps forward, one big step back." Today, we learned about the "big step back" at work. (For those of you who read her Facebook postings, I apologize for any and all that have been inappropriate. I don't have Facebook, so I had no idea what she was posting. Until her boss told us of a couple. I am so embarrassed.) She was doing so wonderful at her new job, that I had become relaxed in her accomplishments; forgetting about the "big step back", or hoping that it just wouldn't come. But it did! Pray for wisdom to make things right.
So, God used my mother to be a "prophetess". Little did she know that when she began to quote one of her favorite sayings that I would have a daughter for the rest of my life. And I thank God that I do. I wouldn't trade her for anything nor for everything.