A Blessing From Television

    I never thought that I would receive a spiritual blessing from the television, but that is just what happened Wednesday evening. The last two days have been very rough for me. I over did it in the yard and then was feeling sorry for myself. It was frustrating and discouraging. I am ashamed to say that I was on a mega-pity-party. It seemed that the Lord had left me to flounder on my own and there was no comfort from the Holy Spirit nor the Word of God. It was awful!
    All I had longed to do this week was to be able to attend every service at our church's annual Jubilee. Sunday and Monday had been such a blessing. But then Tuesday came along and my fibromyalgia was horrid. Wednesday was full of tears and pleading with God for His grace. Never did I think it would come the way that it did.
    Religious channels are not something that I watch. However, there wasn't much on the other television stations, and I just felt that I should watch something "good" to get my mind off of myself. Since I couldn't make it to the Jubilee service, I decided one of the christian shows should be good. The show was hosted by a man named Andrew Wommac. He was telling a story about his youth. He was in college, but believed that God wanted him to quit. Almost everyone told him that this thought was of the devil and could never be from God. Only two of his closest friends told him to do what he believed God wanted him to do. Unlike Reheboam (see I Kings 12), he did not listen to the advice of his friends. He stayed in college, but never had any peace about it until God showed him this verse, Colossians 3:15, "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." (And this television guy actually quoted the King James Version.) He went on to talk about letting (allowing) the peace of God rule (have control) in our hearts (and minds). I was in tears and the realization broke upon my mind. This verse was for me. I had NOT LET (ALLOWED) the peace of God to RULE my heart.
    Oh, such peace flooded my soul when I let God come on in. My problems had been all my own fault. It wasn't God who wasn't at work in my life, it was my sin that was blocking the way. It is amazing that we limit the Lord. He is so much more than we could ever understand and I am so thankful for His Word that spoke to me last night...even if it was through the television.

New Med

    Well, since I last wrote, I have changed my blood pressure medication. I just couldn't take the dizziness anymore. So, the doctor put me on Benicar for a couple of weeks to see how I do. It has been almost a week, and things seem to be going much better. I haven't been able to check the blood pressure level since the machine is "out of order" at Fred Meyer. However, the BP must be fine since I don't get the heat flushes when I work out. As a matter of fact, I was able to take an eight-mile bike ride the other day and loved it. Sure, I was exhausted that evening, but I didn't have a "fatigue attack" like I would have had. It is so nice to be able to do things that I haven't been able to do in almost three years. And to not need to sleep for the next 24 hours.
    Another blessing that is happening in my family is that all three of us are losing weight. The "heart attack" scared me so much (and I think Jerry also), that all three of us have changed our eating habits for the good. This isn't a weight loss program, this is an eat correctly lifestyle that we have chosen.
Sometimes, God has to take some "drastic" measures to get our full attention, to get us to repent, and to get us to turn from our sinful ways. I am so glad that he loves us so much. What a truth and what a blessing

Such Fun

    Fibromyalgia has been such fun...especially lately.
    Last month we took a camping trip to south central Oregon. I wound up in the hospital with what I thought was a heart attack. It was not a fun way to start our vacation. They kept me for the night and I didn't get much sleep at all. They discovered that I had high blood pressure. I really wasn't surprised because the medication (Savella) that I take for the fibro has that as a side-effect. It is a rare side-effect, but it is the one that affects me the most.
    So, when I got back home, I went to a new doctor, since my insurance does not cover our old family doctor anymore. The new doctor is very nice. She admits that she does not treat fibro but is willing to work with me. She could at least help the high blood pressure. I started Lisinopril right away and it is helping. My only problem is that I am very sensitive to medication and can usually take half the normal amount. Well, I started out on the full amount and within a week was suffering new side-effects. I became extremely dizzy, the fatigue was worse than ever, lasting for a week, and my body began to hurt as bad as it did before I began the Savella. It was awful not being able to function again. So, I looked up the side-effects for Lisinopril and found that folks who have an autoimmune problem, such as: Lupis, rheumatoid arthritis, and fibromyalgia need to have the amount adjusted since it causes the "disability" to become worse.
    I decided to only take half the amount of Lisinopril and thought I should cut back on the Savella also. Wrong! I need the Savella!!! Within three days, pain returned to areas that haven't been painful since the Savella got to therapy dosage. So, I got back up to that level and am feeling much better.
    Taking only one Lisinopril is working on the blood pressure. I still have some dizziness, fatigue, and pain. However, I am feeling the best I have felt in almost three years.
    What is the truth and blessing through this experience? Well, it is the fact that Jesus will never leave me nor forsake me, no matter how awful I feel, and no matter how discouraged I get. The Holy Spirit abides within everyone who has accept Jesus Christ as their Saviour and he brings such words of comfort, especially in the times of distress. We need to not listen to our emotions and feelings, but cling to the Word of God...which is the Truth.

Good and Bad

    Our Faith Bible Institute recently did a "quick" study on the book of Job. There were a couple of points made by the instructor that were a blessing and I thought that I would share them with you.
    "Theme: The contemplation of Israel's God's Sovereignty over Suffering. The theme of Job is not the suffering of Job (the secondary theme), but rather the sovereignty of God."
    "The answer to the question, 'If God is all powerful, why didn't He create a perfect world with no sin and suffering?' is He did! A perfect world, however, demands free will. No one wants to live in a world without freedom. God was not a heavenly tyrant who created a world of slaves and robots. He wanted us to love Him because we freely choose to do so."
    "All suffering is ultimately the result of the entrance of sin into this world at the Fall."
    "Though God could justly punish all men because of their inherent sinfulness, He does not. The real mystery is not, "Why do so many bad things happen to good people?', but rather, "Why do so many good things happen to bad people?'"
    "Job, focused on the fact that God has given us all we have: life, health, wealth, family, ext. Thus, God has the perfect right to take these things and we have still been blessed to have had them for the period of time during which He blessed us with them."
    "Scripture thus never forbids us to ask 'why?', for God will, on occasion, show us the answer, but it clearly forbids demanding an answer. In most instances of tragic suffering, we must accept that the 'why?' is beyond our understanding, but can always trust the God Who loves us and our loved ones even more thatn we do."
John Yates, Founder and President, Faith Bible Institute

    I love looking back at my old journals. It is amazing to see how much I have learned, how much I have changed, how much I have stayed the same, and how much the Lord has blessed me. I thought that I would share another entry with you. This one comes from 1988. I was the age that my daughter is now....weird!!!
    "You know, it really bugs me that so many Christians are so wimpy (myself the worst). Satan, or the world, or whatever, comes along in our life and tempts us. It may be ever so gently and over we fall. Christians are suppose to "stand fast". I just can't believe how weak we are, and that bothers me. It makes me upset with me. Satan knows exactly what is our weakness and he knows exactly how to tempt us and how to make us fall. I bet he really gets a kick out of it!
    Why can't we be stronger Christians? Don't we know Who dwells within us? We can't stand by ourselves. That is why we fall so easily. We need to read the Bible more, we need to pray more, we need to give our lives completely to Jesus. We are but humans, but with Christ as our Saviour, with God as our guide, with the Holy Spirit as our power, we can withstand...coming out victorious, giving God all the glory."
    Quite often I think about the "fear of the Lord" and that we Christians have no fear of Him. Last week as I was reading my Bible, the Holy Spirit spoke to me from Proverbs 19:23, "The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil." Oh that we would fear the LORD!

reflections

    I was recently reading one of my journals from 2004. In it I came across an insight that the Lord had shown me. I haven't shared it with anyone other than the few junior high girls I taught in Sunday school six years ago. It was such an encouraging insight that I thought I would share it with all of you.
    The Lord spoke to me of how I "limit" His affect in my life. He is never changing. He doesn't get any more important, nor less significant. God is. And He is always the same. It is I who limit the amount of Him I perceive. Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and forever. It is my thoughts, emotions, and feelings that get in the way of what Christ can do with my life. 

    It would be like having a bright flashlight. If I was to take a piece of cardboard and poke a hole in it and then place said cardboard over the flashlight, then the light that emanates through the hole would be much less than the flashlight can produce. The source of the light has not changed, only the amount of light that is allowed to pass through the cardboard. The cardboard represents me. The size of the hole in the cardboard is bigger or smaller depending on the size of the hole that I make and the amount of light that I allow to pass through. 

    I guess another analogy would be the aperture on a camera. Have you ever looked inside the lens of a camera? Inside you can usually see the aperture. It can change size when the person operating the camera changes the settings. The opening of the aperture determines how much or how little light can be exposed on the film. 

    There is so much that God can do in our lives if we would just let Him have control. He is so much more than our finite brains could ever comprehend, but we continue to limit Him in our lives. I sure know that I still do. Why? Maybe because I am afraid of what the light might expose.

Normal is a Blessing

    When I was younger, I never thought that "normal" was a blessing. Normal was boring and I wanted to be different. Now that I have fibromyalgia, I realize how blessed it is to have a "normal" day. There are days when I am in so much pain, or I am so tired, that I can't do anything except sit around or sleep. It is then that I get very frustrated and discouraged. I begin to feel like my life is never going to be "normal" again.
    Ever since I was a young woman, I have had a Type-A personality. I loved being busy and spending every moment doing something...anything. Sitting around the house was not a part of my life. It was fun being busy. It seemed that life was full and good. It made me feel like a great Christian to be able to do so many things.
    But all of that changed dramatically a couple of years ago. I knew that I wasn't able to do as much. I knew that there were things that made me really tired. I knew that I was feeling more and more pain, especially when I tried to sleep. I knew that something was happening, and I knew I didn't like it.
    No longer can I do the things that I once use to do. It is hard to make any commitments because I never know when I am going to have a bad attack. My life has changed tremendously. I had to resign from my beloved job because I was in so much pain every afternoon and would have to sleep a lot. I had to give up teaching Sunday school. I can't be consistent in attending choir practice. But it's okay!
    I can still serve the LORD every day. Prayer has increased. Bible study is sweet. Being with my family is a daily blessing. I can still be a part of choir when I feel good. I can work with my husband in our Bible institute. I can help my daughter. I get to go to water aerobics with my sister. And so much more.
Yes, "normal" is a blessing.