Bekah turns 30

As most of you know, I have one child, my daughter Rebekah. She is such a blessing in my life, and I thank God every day for allowing me to be her mom. The Lord has used this special child to change me in so many ways. I know that I have wrote about this before, but I just have to say again, that I love my precious daughter and wouldn't trade her for anything.

She is the "middle" child of all the pregnancies I had. I miscarried twice before she was born and at least twice after she was born. After I had my hysterectomy, when I was only 27, I was told that I shouldn't have even had her. The doctor said that my insides were so messed up that he said it was a miracle that I could carry a child to term.

Of all the children that I could have had, the Lord allowed me to have a "special" one. Rebekah is autistic and has mental illnesses. But more than anything else, she is a blessing and that's the truth.

Young Adults

I know that hardly anyone will read this post since I haven't been posting much and don't have a very large audience. However, if only one person reads this and tries to live a better life, it will be worth my time.
Today I learned of another young person who has been faithful in attending church but has decided to turn away from the Lord. It is so very sad whenever anyone does that, but it seems to happen more and more with young adults. Why?

 
I can clearly remember when I was that age. I had accepted Christ as my Saviour when I was sixteen and had been attending church all of my life. When I was seventeen, I was out of high school and attending the local community college. It was there that I began to question my beliefs. Since I was still a baby Christian, it was really easy for me to listen to the lies I was hearing at this secular college. I didn't leave the church and I didn't turn my back on God, but I did do some things that I have regretted for the rest of my life. It was easy to justify my sins back then because I was so wrapped up in the world and didn't want to be thought of as a weirdo. I wanted friends and I wanted acceptance. So, I did what the world did, and I continued to go to church. Sad.

As I began to grow in my relationship with Christ, I realized my sins and repented of them. I now strive to live a life that is always according to His Word and His Will. I love Him so much and am so thankful for all that He has done and is doing for me.

However, I can't help but wonder if there is something we Christians should be doing to encourage young adults to stay strong in their walk with the Lord. What can I do to help them know that Jesus is worth more than everything the world has to offer? Pray more for them? I don't know. Do you?

Depression number whatever

Depression...such a rotten thing. Anyone who has read my blog knows that I have dealt with this rotten thing for many years. Depression is not fun and it is so embarrassing to admit that you have it. But the Bible says that we are to give thanks always for all things unto God and the father. So, the same God that created me, saved me, and always abides with me, has allowed this mental illness into my life. And if you are living with depression, He has allowed it into your life also. Why? I don't know! But this I do know....God has promised to go with you through it. Psalms 23, "Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (which is what depression feels like to me), I will fear no evil (yes, evil is there in that valley of depression to make you feel even worse), for thou (God almighty) art with me (God is with me). And God is with you. He promised in Hebrews that He would never leave you nor forsake you. And in Romans we have the promise that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from the love of God.

It has come to my knowledge that there are several ladies in my church who are living with depression. I am so sorry. But this is an opportunity for us to pray for one another, encourage each other, and grow in our relationship with the LORD. What a blessing.

One thing that I would like to say to those of you who are living with depression...don't allow it to rule your life. Don't allow it to become a crutch. What do I mean? Satan and self would love for us to stay away from church and from Godly fellowship with others. Pride tends to rise up and make us believe that we can't go to church or be with our Godly family. We tend to feel that we aren't good enough and think that others will think less of us if we aren't "perfect". I know, because I tend to believe those lies that I tell myself. The only reason that I believe we should spend time alone, is if we are fully and completely overwhelmed by the depression and will spend that quiet time in prayer and in God's Word. Otherwise, it becomes easier and easier for us to make excuses to not go to church nor to take part in Godly fellowship. Hebrews also says that we are not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. We need each other. Personally, I know that I need you. I love my sisters and brothers and just seeing you at church and at Life Group is a tremendous encouragement to me always.

So, will you join me? I thank God for you, and I thank God (by faith) for Him allowing me to live with depression...and to know that there are others who live with it also.

Momma

My mom has dementia. She gets stuck on a subject and will revisit it often, and I mean often, until she gets stuck on another subject. Actually, she has a few subjects that she can be stuck on at the same time. Last year it was the trees and the clouds and the "boyfriends" that she had. I don't know how many times we heard about Art Ritis, Luke Emia, and Al Simers. It was nice when she finally got onto another topic, but then she got stuck on it.

Please realize that I love my momma very, very much and thank the LORD that I still have her as a physical part of my life. She isn't the woman that she used to be and that is sometimes sad. However, she is here and lives near-by and I can still enjoy her company.

For the last few months my mom is stuck on the subject of my younger brother and myself being her "oops children". Yes, we were a surprise. My mom already had her one boy and her one girl. That's all she had wanted. She thought she was done having children when my sister was born. Then, nine years later I came along and only thirteen months later my younger brother arrived. So, technically, I guess we are her "oops children". But that was over 50 years ago!

I like to think of us as her "gift children". A surprise gift from God. Those who don't think God has a sense of humor, haven't been noticing the funny stuff that He allows.

Another subject my mom is stuck on also concerns my younger brother and myself. And that is the color of our hair. She keeps accusing us of dying it. (I admit that I do, but not more than three times a year.) Our genetics are such that we just don't get grey until we are older. However, if you look close enough there are a few. My brother just keeps his so short that you can't see his gray hairs.

So, I decided to find a picture of my mom from when she was my age. I looked through my photo albums and found a nice one of her reclining on the couch with our favorite dog, Chi-Chi. (Chi-Chi was a tiny, deer chihuahua that we had from the time she was just six weeks old until she was 16 years.) It was hard for me to realize that my mom was my age when that photo was taken. I remember it so well.....

And that is where the real truth and blessing are to be found!

That picture of my mom was taken 32 years ago, right after Jerry and I had gotten married. The two of us had just returned from San Diego, I had just turned 20, we had to live with my parents because the economy was failing, and the job Jerry had waiting for him was gone. It was a horrible time in my life, and I hated my parents because of things that had happened in my youth. (I may write about those at some other time.)

Looking at my mom, I thought of how I would feel if I was her. She was a mean mom and was dealing with her own problems, but I had no right to hate her. I wonder if I hurt her. How could I not? Maybe that is why she retaliated back in such hurtful ways to me.

And then, while looking at the photo, the Lord reminded me of how much He loves us and how much He has done in our lives to forgive us, and how He has healed all of the pain and sorrow that we had back then. It is amazing and oh so wonderful. It is hard to believe what life was like way back then, but it is even harder to believe that God would take these rotten sinners and forgive them of their sins and change their hearts.

So, I give all thanks and praise to the Lord. Thanks for my precious momma. Thanks for forgiving us and healing us with Your amazing love. Thanks for her dementia and her getting stuck on subjects. Thanks for showing me this photo and reminding me of Your grace and mercy.

No higher calling

The other night I was on a tiny little pity party. I couldn't breathe because I had a sinus infection and my body just ached from a fibro flare-up. It was time for bed, and I felt sorry for myself. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. When I get to feeling sorry for myself, I sink into sin. My thoughts all focus on me and what I have had to "give up" because of my health issues. Oh, rotten self starts to believe the lies that come from the swill of my brain. Lies that claim God doesn't love me and that if He did, I wouldn't be sick, I would be able to do all of the things that I want to do. Lies that claim I am a failure. Lies that claim life isn't fair because I have had more than my share of suffering. Lies, lies, lies.

However, this night, the Holy Spirit was right there to counter those sin filled lies. The lie that was trying to overwhelm my brain the most was the lie that God doesn't love because I can't do the things that I used to be able to do. Immediately the Holy Spirit asked me why God had created me in the first place?! Why did God create woman? Genesis 2 tells us that man (Adam) was placed by God in the Garden of Eden and that he was alone. Verse 18, "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." So, God created woman (Eve) from one of Adam's ribs. Verse 23 & 24, "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall becalled Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

I knew right then and there that I have no higher calling than to be the wife of my precious husband. To be a mother is an amazing blessing. To be able to work with children is a wonderful gift. To be able to write, to teach, to mentor, to do anything at all is truly a blessing. But to be a wife, a wife of a man that loves God, to be a Christian wife to a Christian man....for me there is no greater job. I know that there are some out there who believe that to be a wife is to be a "slave", a "servant", a "doormat" for a man to do with as he pleases. In very few cases they are correct. But I truly believe the Word of God, that God created me to be a wife, an help meet for my husband.

Jerry needs me and I need him. Jerry loves me and I love him. Jerry loves for me to help him, and I love to be able to help him as much as I can. In spite of my fibro, there is nothing greater that I can do than to be an helpmeet for my husband. Praise the LORD!

Faith in Facts

Just want you all to know that I am having a bad day. My fibromyalgia has been flaring for several days, I woke up fatigued, and I am very depressed. With that said, I am still thankful and can see God's blessings in spite of everything. He loves me. He abides with me. He shall bring me through this trial as He has every single other time that I have gone through this same thing.

Having depression is awful, but it does not have to overwhelm. I make myself remember God's Word. It is the only Truth that I have. If I was to base my faith on my feelings, I would have become an agnostic decades ago. Instead, I force myself to place my faith in facts. And those facts are only found in the Bible. I choose to believe His Word, instead of the lies my brain tells me when I am in the slough of depression.
I know that this too shall pass and that God will never leave me nor forsake me.

New Year Resolution

I know that at this time of the year many of us look back and reflect on last year and or try to look forward to the new year by setting resolutions. I usually do the same thing every year. But this year I haven't really made any resolutions. I am trying to make my life easier and by not having a list of goals that I am trying to accomplish it does make life seem simpler. However, it also leaves me feeling like I am drifting along just floating to nowhere in particular. As a very organized person, I need to have some direction. So, this morning during my special time with the Lord the thought came to my mind, "What goal or command would Jesus give to me if He was speaking to me directly in person?" Instantly, the Holy Spirit brought to mind the greatest command of all. It is the command that Jesus did speak personally two thousand years ago. You can find it in the Gospels, and it still applies to all Christians today. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all the heart, and soul, and mind, and strength."

I truly believe that if we were to let that command guide all that we do, it would radically change the way we live. It would change the way we think. It would change the world. If we love the Lord our God with all of our being, then we will seek to please Him in every single thing that we do. We wouldn't have to worry about whether we were doing the right thing. We wouldn't have to make any other resolutions because all that we do would be based on our love for the Lord.

 
So, my resolution this year is one that anyone and everyone who claims Christ as Saviour should also have as their resolution for this year. To love the Lord our God will all our heart, to love the Lord our God will all our soul, to love the Lord our God with all our mind, and to love the Lord our God will all our strength.