No pain, no gain

Our preacher preached a great message this morning on God loving you so much that He punishes you. The title of this post kept going through my head. No pain, no gain. If God didn't love us, He wouldn't care about us. Therefore, since He does love His children, He does care about them, and He does punish them when they need it. So, it is also true, that if you aren't a child of God, then He wouldn't punish you. That just made me so happy to hear that again.

It was those words that got me to realize when I was 16 years old that I was not a child of God. I was a brat and got away with doing all sorts of sinful things...and I never got punished for it by either my mom nor dad, but worse, I also didn't get punished by God. I wasn't His child. I belonged to satan and God doesn't punish other folk's kids. How did I become a child of the devil? It wasn't hard. I didn't have to do anything. I was born into sin and that's where I stayed until I accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Lord.

There have been many, many times that I have felt the stinging punishment of the Lord. Why? Because He loves me and knows just what I deserve. Do you think that it makes God a big meany? You are so wrong. It makes God a loving and caring Father of His children.

If I had been allowed to have all of the children that I wanted to have, I would have been so full of pride about what a great mom I was. If the one child that I do have was allowed to be "normal", I wouldn't have her with me every day (a very special blessing). If I had been allowed to make a career of being a para-educator, I would not be able to serve the Lord and others like I can. If I had been allowed to have perfect health and never had to deal with fibromyalgia nor arthritis nor mental illness, I would be so full of myself that I would choke. I wouldn't have any empathy nor sympathy for anyone.

I have to admit that when I went through God's "spanking machine" I hated it. I thought that God was punishing me for some wicked thing that I had done. I believed that God hated me and wanted to remove all joy from my life. I thought He wanted to ruin me. I was mad and there were times when I yelled at the LORD. However, I needed to be reminded today that God punishes me because He loves me and cares so much about me. He knows all about me from before I was conceived to all eternity. As I look back on the last thirty years, I can see His love and care in every situation. He has changed me and made me into a woman that I never could have imaged that I could become.

The truth and the blessing are the fact that there is no gain in the life of a Christian without going through the pain.

Please don't misunderstand. There are times and I believe that many of those times, the pain that we endure is caused by our own actions. You know the old saying, "If you play with fire, you will get burned." And one of my mom's favorites, "If you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas."
Don't think that God punished you when you did it to yourself. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the extra pain I am experiencing in my knees is my fault because I have been overeating again. That pain is my doing and if I don't lose some weight, I will have to bear the consequences.

So, if I was you, the first thing I would do is to take inventory and find out if your pain is coming from punishment from God or is it of your own doing. If it is of God, then rejoice that He loves you and cares so much about you. If it is of yourself, then take steps to make things right. If you aren't receiving any punishment of the Lord, then you need to right now pray and ask the Lord Jesus Christ to be your saviour and to cleanse you of your sins. God bless!

Rainbow ramblings

I just felt like doing something different in this post. I don't know why I chose gray as the background color, especially since I hate the color gray. I chose a dark red color for the type and guess I thought it would look good against a gray background.

So, now I have decided to do a different color scheme. This one reminds me of springtime and sunshine and new life and Easter...which is coming really soon. I love this time of year and I love yellow. It is my favorite color.

Okay, let's see how this one looks. This is maroon with pink. I also love dark pink, not hot pink, just a deep pink. Whenever I wear pink, I think I look healthier. It is one of those colors that just looks good on me. Yes, I am a girly girl and love girly girl colors.

I had a massage this afternoon and my therapist and I were talking about how much we enjoyed ourselves on our separate vacations to Arizona. She was talking about how blue the sky is down there and I was remembering the blue of the Arizona sky when I picked this color scheme. I wish I was back in AZ sitting by the pool and looking up into that blue, blue sky. Paradise.

I didn't think the color scheme would change, but it did. Another season that I love is Autumn. I love the deep earth tones that Fall represents. Dark reds, shades of orange, browns, yellows, and deep green. The only bad thing about Autumn is that is signals the coming of colder and wetter weather especially here in western Washington.

Let's get back to Easter time colors. They are the happiest of colors to me. Easter represents new life and overwhelming love...from God to all of us. Easter, the Resurrection Day. Jesus Christ died on the cross, shedding his blood and giving his life to pay for our sins. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. That whosoever believes in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life. Easter Sunday, way back in 1976, was when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour and Lord. Will you accept Him this Easter?

I hope you have enjoyed my rainbow blog. God loves you and there is nothing that can ever change that fact. Do you love him? Do you seek to please him? Jesus said that if we love him, we will keep his commandments. His commandments: to love the Lord our God with all our heart and our neighbor as ourselves.

"Homework"

My darling daughter told me again today that I hadn't posted on my blog in a looooong time. She's right. I just haven't felt like it, or I have been too busy, or too tired because I had been too busy. But now that the house is almost completely back to normal, and because I am on a guilt trip, I will post on my blog.

We went to Arizona for a month and loved it. I truly did not want to come home. And then I had a really hard time once we did come home because all I wanted to do was to go back to the warm sunshine of Arizona. So, instead of going back, we got busy doing house work. We pulled up all the rugs and carpets. I had so much fun pulling out staples from the floor. We painted the three bedrooms, the family room, the kitchen, the hallway, and one wall in the dining room. We would have painted the living room and the rest of the dining room, but we were just sick and tired of it. (The main bathroom will still need to be done during the summer.) 

Because of all the work we did to the house, we basically moved everything into the garage for six weeks. It was kind of nice to have an empty house. Made it much easier to clean.

Once we got the painting done, we had the new carpet installed. (We love it.) We decided that it was also time for new trim in the bedrooms since the old stuff had been there since the house was built in 1979. So, we got the wood and stained and varnished it ourselves. That was fun. I love working with real wood.
We cleaned everywhere and everything. And then it was time to bring the junk back in the house. I have gone through all of it and am getting rid of so much stuff. But there still seems to be a ton of junk. Oh well, I thank God for all of it. He is the One who allowed us to earn the money in the first place so that we could purchase what we own.

What is the Truth and Blessing? Well, first off, I have a wonderful husband and daughter. They did so much to help me around here. Second, that everything we have comes from and belongs to God. Thirdly, this world is not my home. Even though I love so much that which is here on the earth, it is nothing compared to the love that I have for the Lord and the home He is preparing for me. Can't wait to get there...in His time.

post 101

I didn't realize that my last post was number 100. So, for those of you who have a hard time counting, that makes this post number 101. I'm not sure what I will post about yet, but just let the Lord lead.

Highway 101 is one of my favorite highways to travel. I especially love taking it through Oregon as it travels along the beautiful Oregon coast. I love the ocean and wish that I could visit it every day. It just amazes me how that God is able to hold back all of the oceans that cover all of the world from overflowing all of the land. Think about how destructive a localized tidal wave can be. Could you imagine that happening on a worldwide scale? I know I sure can't! If it wasn't for God keeping the ocean under His control, that is exactly what would happen.

I remember very clearly an incident that occurred a few years ago during this time of year. My sister, my husband, and I took a long weekend trip to Lincoln City, OR. We went to the Devil's Chasm located about an hour south of town. It was one of those rare, sunny, beautiful days that we get in the northwest after a particularly stormy day. The tide was up and there were storm surge waves causing gigantic splashes to come roaring into the chasm. Jerry and I decided to hike down to the rocky edges and get an up-close view and take some awesome pictures of the waves as the crashed against the end wall of the cliff. And we did. Waves were splashing 40 feet into the air. It was amazing!

We were making our way back out of the chasm and over to the hiking path where my sister was waiting and taking pictures of us. Out of nowhere came a huge wave that crashed against the front of the chasm. Just in the nick of time, I shoved my camera and cellphone into my "dry-side" pocket. That wave grew in height until it was over our heads and coming straight at us. Jerry was on my "wet-side" and took the full force of the wave as it crashed over our heads. He was drenched and I was soaked through in several areas. The three of us broke out in screams and laughter and screams of laughter. My "wet-side" pocket was full of ocean water. My hair hung in wet streams. Jerry's clothes clung to his body as did my jeans. The cold wind blew right through our wet clothing and made us freeze. My sister used her bandana to get our faces as dry as she could. Jerry and I then left her behind to quickly hike ourselves up the cliff. Jerry had to remove his dripping jacket and clinging jeans. I wrapped him in the heavy blanket that "lives" in our van. I had another jacket that I was able to use to get myself warm and dry. By the time my sister finally made it back up the hill and to the van, Jerry and I were nice and warm. Dry...no, Warm...yes.

The miracle of it all was the fact that just a minute earlier we would have been killed. We had been standing right on the edge of the chasm watching huge drift logs as they rolled and heaved in the waves. If the gigantic wave had caught us at that time, it would have thrown us off our feet and into the chasm where we would have been crushed by those same logs. Thank God we "listened" when the Holy Spirit advised us to move on to safer ground. 

When we got home, we were sad to learn that a couple of teenage girls had died on that same day. They were hit by a storm-surge wave that had caught them by surprise. They had been sitting on a log on the beach watching the ocean. The rouge wave knocked them backward off of the log causing them severe head damage and then drowning.

There have been so many times that I know the Lord has intervened on my behave and kept me safe. But the greatest of all, was when He touched my heart and mind causing me to realize that I needed to accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Saviour. Obeying that call has not only saved my life here on earth, but for all of eternity. It has saved me from sin, from Satan, from myself, and from so much more.

Wah, wah

Haven't been here in a while. Just didn't feel like writing because I often wonder if it is even worth it to do this. I appreciate those of you who do follow this blog. Sorry about being on a pity party or whatever you want to call it. The fibro has been pretty bad this year, but there are blessings with it also. Earlier this week, I was talking with one of our FBI students and realized that I had only missed two classes this semester whereas last year I had to miss twice that amount. Not working has really made a difference. 

I am so blessed by the Lord that I am able to stay home and take care of my little family. God has given my beloved husband a great job which has always provided for all our needs. And having our precious, adult daughter still living with us has also provided me with the ability to earn a little extra money from the state. We are fully blessed and are able to use some of that money to continue to be a blessing to others that are in need. It is also going to enable us to take a month-long vacation to Arizona to see if the warmth helps my fibro. Looking forward to that amazing blessing. All praise to our God who daily loadeth us with blessings.

Yielding Rights #2

This posting may not be appropriate for minors or for those who get easily offended.

A few weeks ago, I posted about my daughter and the lesson of yielding rights. I thought that it was finally time to tell my story about a part of my life that I don't often share. It is how I learned to not only yield my rights, but also how to forgive.

When I was 30 years old, I was so full of anger and bitterness that you could not get within three feet of me. I did not like for anyone to hug me or touch me, except for my daughter and husband. I trusted no one, not even God. Life was dark and miserable all the time. I had no joy nor any peace. My mind was tormented by constant thoughts of suicide and hatred. It was hell on earth. As a christian, I had a head knowledge about most of the Bible, but almost no spiritual knowledge. My brain was a sponge and a rock at the same time. I could take in the information, but could not and would not apply it to my life.
In January of that year, our pastor told us that we would be having a revival the end of April. He wanted us to start having prayer meetings in folks' home every week. Since my husband was (and still is) a deacon in the church and we were very involved in many ministries in the church, we felt that we needed to open our home to the prayer meetings and go to some as well. During those weekly prayer meetings, God began to move in my heart and mind. I wanted Him to show me the sin in my life, but when He did, I kept repeating that I had a right to those sins because of what had occured in my life. I didn't want to confess that they were sins, because I believed that I had a right to think the way that I wanted.

When, I was a child, I was sexually abused for years. I was also verbally abused for even more years. I grew up not having any idea of what was real love. So, I became sexually promiscuous at a young age because that's what I thought love was. I was then raped as a young adult. I hated my relatives for not protecting me. I was so angry with them that I sometimes wished that I could hurt them as much as I was hurting. Those who were closest to me, my own family, had failed. Not only had they failed, some of them were to blame. I couldn't wait to get away from my parents and yet, I was too scared to be alone.

I went to live with my oldest brother and his wife for a few months and felt some love and peace. They took me to a good church where I began to hear about salvation. I thought that I already was saved because I had walked down the church aisle when I was eight years old. (You can read about that in one of my earlier postings.) However, a couple months later, my brother's job got transferred and I would have to go back home. I went, but within a month, I was back in Colorado living with some family friends. Life was horrible, but it was better than being at home. The best thing to come from living away from my family was that I got saved and began to change. I still hated my family, but would at least say I was sorry when I got in an argument with my mom.

Fast forward several years. I got married to a wonderful man and we had several miscarries, then I wound up needed a total hysterectomy at the age of 27, and our only child was diagnosed with developmental disabilities. I was MAD! Mad at God, mad at my family, mad at myself, mad at mankind. And I thought I has every right to be that way.

And then God began to show me the truth. I was not prepared. It was a sunny April day, and I was out on our front porch when the Holy Spirit spoke to. No, not some audible voice and revelation, but that still, small voice within my soul. He told me that He had already forgiven those who had hurt me. I was shocked and couldn't believe it. I replied that He couldn't. And this is how the conversation continued.

HS: I forgave them when Jesus died on the cross and shed His blood to pay for the sins of all mankind.
Me: Noooo!!! They hurt me too much for you to forgive them.
HS: Not only did I forgive them, but I also love them.
Me: WHAT??? You can't love them. They are wicked and they sinned against me. How could you love them?
HS: I love them because I am love. And I love them as much as I love you.
Me: You love them as much as you love me? They have no right. They sinned.
HS: Yes, they have sinned, but so have you.
Me: But I have a right to my feelings. My sins aren't as bad as their sins.
HS: You have no rights. Your sin is just as bad as their sin. It is sin that sent Jesus to the cross. Your sin and their sin. I love them and I love you. I forgive them and I forgive you. Will you obey me and yield your rights?
Me: Yes, Lord.

It was later that evening, in our church, where we were having a God sent revival, that the Holy Spirit was finally able to fully break me and begin to heal me. With tears pouring down my face, I confessed my sins...and there were so many of them that needed to come out. I thanked God for His forgiveness and cleansing according to I John 1:9, "If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive our sin, and to cleanse from all unrighteousness." I was able to yield my rights and die to myself (see Rom.6, 12, and Gal.2:20). Then Jesus could begin to fill me with His truth and with the Holy Spirit. It was life-changing!

So, was it a one time for all situation? No! I must "die daily" and constantly yield my rights and myself to the Lord. And He is faithful to fill me with Himself and with His truth. Yielding rights isn't something that we are taught to do here in America. Instead we are often encouraged to demand our rights. That is the way of the world. But as a Christian, this world is not my home, worldly doctrines aren't my truth; I claim the truth form the only source of truth and that is the Word of God and I yield my rights to the Lord. If you want to be blessed, then you would be wise to do the same thing.

Just Praising God

"In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." I Thessalonians 5:18. "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20

As I prepare to do some counseling, I have been looking back over the last twenty years. (Ack, how in the world can that be? 20 years already? I can't be that old.) It is just so awesome and amazing to me to realize the mighty work that God has done in my life, and I cannot begin to give Him the praise which He deserves. The Lord has healed me of tremendous pain in my mind and heart. He has changed the very thoughts of my mind into those which are true. God has given to me His peace and joy. He has taken away the awful and replaced it with the awesome. The Lord has freed me from the bondage and delivered me into His glorious freedom.

Twenty years ago, I was a woman who was full of hate and anger and bitterness and lies. I was so wrapped up in myself that I couldn't see anyone else. Darkness clouded all of my thoughts and depression was my familiar friend. Many a time I considered suicide as the only way to be set free from the torment I endured. And then, God began to show me the truth from His Holy Word and the Holy Spirit began to convict me of my sins and the Lord Jesus Christ cleansed me from every sin and unrighteousness.

Over the years, God has continued to work in my heart and mind to help me speak the truth in love to myself. I remember the day, just about six years ago, that I could finally look myself in the eye (using a mirror, of course. Would have been kind of impossible otherwise.), and say to myself, "You are forgiven, and I love you." Up until that day, I had so much hate towards the person that lived inside this body. I felt like I was just a piece of smelly poop that wasn't worth anything. But the Holy Spirit reminded me of God's truth: that I God loves me with an overwhelming love and that nothing I do or don't do can ever change that fact. And now, I look forward to the Lord using me to help someone else who is in pain.

As I looked back in my photo albums and realized the amazing and wondrous work that God has done in my life, I can't help but praise Him and thank Him and exalt Him and praise Him.