Comparison

When I was at my busiest as a Christian, I did these things: Bus Captain Sunday School teacher Junior Church song leader, Choir member Soloist, Choir practice, Care-center song leader, Evening class teacher, LACE director every week, Home-school co-op director and teacher, Visitation, Decorator, Kitchen director, Fellowship planner, Drama actor, Home-school teacher, and probably more that I can't recall. Now I am blessed to be allowed and used of the Lord in these areas: (when I am physically able) Co-director of FBI, Co-director of a GROW team, Choir member, Decorator, Prayer partner, Church patrol with husband, and Blogger. However, these are the most precious things I can do always: (or for as long as the Lord lets me) Pray for others, Read my Bible, Meditate on God's Word, Sing to the Lord, Hug my husband, Hug my daughter, Hug my other family members, Hug my friends, Give compliments, and bring encouragement to others, Send a greeting card, Go to church, and Pray. If I could do nothing, I would still give all praise to the Lord, because I would still be able to praise His holy name.

The Perfect Woman

In our Sunday school class, we are studying Proverbs 31, "The Virtuous Woman". I used to hate this chapter because I never thought that I could "measure up" to her. I believed that I had to do all the things that she did, or I wouldn't be what God wanted me to be....the "Perfect Woman". Oh, how I tried.

It seemed like I would be able to master one area and as soon as I tried to add another trait, I would mess up in the area that I thought I had just mastered. So, I would get really down on myself. A few months later, I would try again, and it seemed like I was doing great until I tried to do something more. Then, I felt like an even bigger failure. I lived on such a huge guilt trip...a trip that I put myself on. 

All of that began to change in 2010 when my physical health began to get so bad. It became impossible for me to do many of the things that are contained in Proverbs 31. No matter how much I would have loved to be able to do them, I could not. There was no way that I could plant a garden. It was hard enough to take care of the garden areas that I already had. If it wasn't for the help of my husband and our daughter, there would be nothing but weeds. There was no way that I was able to make clothing and coverings for my family, let alone to sell to others. And there was no way that I would be able to stay up at night and get work done, I had to take a nap every day just to be able to function. 

When I had to give up doing the things that I once had no trouble doing, when I had to give up doing the things that I loved to do, when I had to give up and surrender all to the LORD, that is when He was finally able to get a hold of my heart and mind. I felt like the biggest failure in the world. I felt like God hated me and was out to punish me for some reason. I felt horrible...until the Holy Spirit was allowed to work in my thoughts. He showed me that I am nothing, but that Jesus is everything. He showed me that my attitude was the biggest hinderance to my life. God doesn't want perfection, He already has it. God doesn't want me to try to be perfect, because I already am. (And so are you, if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour.) As soon as I accepted Jesus, I became a new creature. 

Gal. 2:20, "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." I am in Jesus and He is in me. When God looks upon me, He does not see the old me, He sees Jesus. He is perfect! 

So, why is Proverbs 31 even in the Bible if we aren't supposed to try to perfect like the virtuous woman? Well, I believe that the Lord wants us women to realize that we cannot be "perfect" without Him and that once we have Him, we are perfect. There is nothing more that is needed. So, does that mean that we don't have to be virtuous? Or that we can just be whatever type of woman we want to be? NO!!! It means that we can be whatever God wants us to be. Yes, I should continue to try to be virtuous, but I don't have to be "perfect" in and of myself. 

As I wrote in one of my previous blogs, I have learned that I can only do what God enables me to do. That does not make me better nor does it make me worse. If I yield my all to the Lord and allow Him to use me as He desires, then He will. It may not be what I desire, but who cares, so long as it is what God desires. I was on such a pity party last year when I felt like my life was over. However, the Holy Spirit made me to realize that it's not over, it is just different. My life could be a whole lot more limited. It doesn't matter what I can and cannot do physically. It matters that I am doing all that I do in God's strength and for His glory. I think of Christian women who cannot do anything but pray. Are they not virtuous? Of course they are. What truly makes a "perfect", virtuous woman??? Jesus Christ and Him only.

Parenting

I know that being a parent is the hardest job in the world and yet it is also the most rewarding.

For the last week, I have been in the sixth-grade classroom volunteering my time and talents to help the teacher and the students. It has been rough!!! The whole class has been preparing to do student lead conferences. These conferences will take place next week and the students will be in charge. They will be presenting their grades and some of the work they have done. The teacher and I have helped them to prepare. Last Friday, we had them practice with us one to one. There were some students who couldn't wait to have their mom or dad come and hear what they had to say. But there were so many more who were afraid. They had never been able to really talk to their parent(s) and this would be the first time that they had an opportunity to be heard. It felt great to encourage and empower these precious children. I hope and pray that they will be able to follow through at the actual conference.

Although it has been many years ago, I can remember my sixth-grade conference. I had never gone to one before and was afraid of what my mom would say and do. It was scary for me because I knew that I had a really bad grade in one of my subjects. It was the grade I deserved because I had deliberately chosen to not do the work. My conference went really well and it felt great to be able to explain how boring the subject had been and that was the reason I chose to not do the work. As my mom and I walked home, I thought I would get in big trouble. My mom was quiet and then, she told me that she loved me. (That was rare for her to say.) I asked her who she loved best in our family and she told me that it was my dad. I asked her which one of us four kids she loved the best and she replied that she loved each of us the same. It was a relief to hear, because I often thought that she loved my siblings more than she loved me.

As I worked with the children, I was able to share part of that story with them. A few of them were surprised and I think took courage from my story. I pray for them and their families. I hope that their conferences will go really well and that this will be the beginning of stronger relations with their parents.

The blessing that I get from this, is that God loves all of His children just the same. When God looks upon us, He no longer sees us, He sees Jesus in me and us in Jesus. John 17:23, Jesus says," I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast love me." Let that sink in for a moment....God loves you as much as He loves Jesus!!!!

volunteering

I was watching a television show last evening that just touched my heart. The closing line from the gal who stepped into a low-income, volunteering role really got me to crying. She basically said that it doesn't matter what you have nor how much you have, if you can only give a smile or a hug, it is enough. Just do what you can. This gal was a millionaire who humbly served in volunteer positions and in the end wound up giving away $100,000 to three agencies and to a family in need.

As I watched the show, I began to feel an overwhelming wish that I could do more in my church and in my community. It was weird, but during the whole program, I was holding a conversation with the Lord without realizing I was doing so. I kept saying to the Lord that I want to do more, that I wished that I had more to give, or that I could physically volunteer more. I was so blessed to see what others are doing and yet sad that I can't do more because of my physical limitations.

It was at the end of the show, when those final words were spoken, that the Holy Spirit spoke so clearly to my heart. If all you can do is give a smile or a hug, that is enough. Just do what you can do...and do as unto the Lord.

I was raised in a family that volunteered. My parents were Red Cross teachers from the time I can remember. They were always involved in church: leading classes and choirs. They also volunteered with so many other community events that I can't list them all. My older siblings were also volunteers with Red Cross, swimming lessons, nursing homes, and church activities. Being a volunteer is just a part of my being. It is a blessing. And I long to do more of it. But for now, I thank the Lord that I can help at the local elementary schools, I can give smiles, hugs, and words of encouragement to those precious children, I can help at my church in many ways, and I can just pray for those who have a need.

"Church Hopping"

I have been thinking about folks who go from one church to another. They commit for a while at one place, but then they are gone. I was wondering if there is anyone who can give me a biblical reason for leaving a church and hopping to another? I don't want some single verse answer, I want to know how anyone can truly and biblically justify leaving a "good" church and going to another one. 

Why am I wondering? When I was a child, I remember my parents taking us from a good church to one that was closer to our house. I can truly say that we did not go to a "better" church. We left a soul-winning church because my mom couldn't stand an outspoken hypocrite who was very rude to me when I was out on visitation with my Sunday school teacher. (I was only eight years old and loved my teacher. She offered to take myself and my friend with her and this other woman to go visiting on a Thursday evening. We were having a very nice time until this other woman decided to light up a cigarette as we were visiting a lady who had been visiting our church. I was shocked to see anyone light up a cigarette, let alone someone that I believed was a good Christian and at the house of the lady that we were visiting. I quietly said something to my friend and this hypocrite woman noticed me. She started yelling at me and calling me all sorts of names. I was mortified and couldn't wait to get home. Needless to say, that was the last visit of the night, as it was ended by my Sunday school teacher immediately. The teacher dropped off my friend, who only lived half a block from my house. I ran from my friend's house and fled to mine. Once I got in the door, I made a beeline for my bedroom as my mom asked how things went. She found out soon enough, because the Sunday school teacher came over and explained things to my mom. I hid out in my room and cried. There was no way that I wanted to see anyone. However, my mom brought the teacher to my room and she gently apologized. It made no difference. That was the end of that church for our family. From then on, we attended not only a new church, but entered a whole new religion. I did not get back into a "good" church until eight years later.)

So, why do folks go church "hopping"? I can understand why my parents choose to leave the one church, but I truly cannot understand why they choose to go to a different religion. And even if I could understand, I can't find a good reason from the Bible to leave a "good" church. Can you?

Delight and Desire

"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalms 37:4. As many of you know, I love to work with "my" kids. "My" kids are the school children that I have worked with since they were in first grade six years ago. One year ago, I had to resign my job as the physical pain was becoming more than I could handle. It was a blessing to be able to continue to volunteer in the same classrooms where I had once worked. Every Friday, I would go to the classes and stay until their lunch recess was over.

When the new school began, my heart was so sad, and my fibro pain got worse since the weather also got worse. For the next few months, I worked on losing weight, exercising, and trying to cope with the pain. I missed "my" kids so much. But there was also another reason why I could not be with them. None of the sixth grade teachers had ever been nice to me while I worked at the school. I would go out of my way to be friendly and nice to them, but almost always they would ignore me. Someone had spread nasty lies about me when I was working in third grade. The gossip mills spread to the sixth-grade teachers who never tried to discover the truth. So, there was no way that I could volunteer in any of their classrooms, and I couldn't be with "my" kids.

However, in November, I did feel well enough to visit the kids during their lunch. It was amazing to see how much they had grown in just a few months' time.

Then, during their Christmas break, I began to pray about going back and volunteering with other teachers. I just felt lead of the Lord that it was time to go help. The Lord allowed me to meet several former co-workers during their break and one of them told me that a sixth-grade teacher had resigned. Now, this wasn't just any sixth-grade teacher, there are three of them at the school, and the one that resigned was the one that had been teaching the kids who were closest to me. I so wanted to be back with the twins with whom I had worked for five years. 

I wondered if God was opening a door for me to return to "my" kids. I asked one of the students in this particular classroom who the new teacher was. He told me the name and said that she was really nice. The name didn't register with me at that time.

When school resumed in January, I knew that God wanted me to return. I filled out all of the volunteer paperwork and talked to the coordinator who was very excited. I then went out to recess with "my" kids and visited them at lunch. The twins told me that they liked their new teacher and said her name again. This time, the Lord brought to mind a possible connection between this teacher and the principal of another school where I had worked years ago and with whom I had interviewed twice in the past three months. Could it be that they were married? And if they were, was she also a Christian like her husband?

Two days later, I returned to begin my volunteer work and decided that it was time to meet this new teacher. She was the nicest woman and sure enough is married to the nicest principal and definitely is a Christian. Amen!

Two days after that, I was in her classroom for most of the day. She asked if I like math. I love math. She asked the kids if they wanted me to teach math. They all replied enthusiastically, YES! So, I not only get to be with "my" kids, but I also get to teach them math. Which I love! Oh what a blessed Saviour we have, who not only saves us, but knows our every thought and desire.

Praise

Psalms 139: 14-17a, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand..."

These are some of my favorite verses and ones that I memorized many years ago when the Lord began to do a great work in my heart and mind. Through these verses, God started to teach me how much I am loved. Not just loved but loved by the God of the whole universe. WOW, What an overwhelming and amazing fact.

Today I saw the "gut" doctor as my insides have been hurting more and more in the last couple of years. I've had problems with my abdomen for a couple of decades. The seven surgeries in that location haven't helped matters, especially since I tend to make lots and lots of scar tissue. It seems that the pain has gotten ever worse since I had my gallbladder removed in October.

When the "gut" doctor realized that I have fibromyalgia, he made a connection. The inflammation that I have in my joints and muscles also affects the large intestine. He has seen a correlation in many people who have fibromyalgia who also have irritable bowel syndrome. (Makes sense to me.)

I could have gotten really discouraged hearing that news, especially since I just started volunteer work at the school where I use to work. I've already had to take a day off and was really glad that school was cancelled today as I was in tremendous pain again.

But instead of getting discouraged, I have decided that I will just praise the LORD because He loves me and thinks about me and cares about me. What a wonderful God He is!