Wednesday, March 24, 2010

fibromyalgia

I was officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year. It is very hard to accept this condition. I am not the person I use to be nor the person that I wish I could be. It has changed my life in ways that I never thought possible.
There are very few days when I am not in pain. When I do feel good, I want to do all of the things that I usually cannot do. That ends up being a really bad decision. Within 48 hours I will be in the worse conditions. I have to just sleep and sleep.
In my "normal" life I was a very active person who loved to keep busy. Sitting around was one of the things I just didn't do. However, over the last year and three months, I have to sit around more and more because I just don't have the strength nor ability to do the things I desire. It is very frustrating.
God has used so many things in my life to teach me and change me to be more like Christ. So far, fibromyalgia hasn't "blessed" me at all. It is very hard for me to not get angry and discouraged. Perhaps that is what God is trying to do through this illness...teach me true contentment and gratitude.
In every situation I try to find the truth and the blessing, but in this circumstance it has been extremely hard. I trust in the LORD and know that He is sovereign. May His will be done.

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