Normal is a Blessing

    When I was younger, I never thought that "normal" was a blessing. Normal was boring and I wanted to be different. Now that I have fibromyalgia, I realize how blessed it is to have a "normal" day. There are days when I am in so much pain, or I am so tired, that I can't do anything except sit around or sleep. It is then that I get very frustrated and discouraged. I begin to feel like my life is never going to be "normal" again.
    Ever since I was a young woman, I have had a Type-A personality. I loved being busy and spending every moment doing something...anything. Sitting around the house was not a part of my life. It was fun being busy. It seemed that life was full and good. It made me feel like a great Christian to be able to do so many things.
    But all of that changed dramatically a couple of years ago. I knew that I wasn't able to do as much. I knew that there were things that made me really tired. I knew that I was feeling more and more pain, especially when I tried to sleep. I knew that something was happening, and I knew I didn't like it.
    No longer can I do the things that I once use to do. It is hard to make any commitments because I never know when I am going to have a bad attack. My life has changed tremendously. I had to resign from my beloved job because I was in so much pain every afternoon and would have to sleep a lot. I had to give up teaching Sunday school. I can't be consistent in attending choir practice. But it's okay!
    I can still serve the LORD every day. Prayer has increased. Bible study is sweet. Being with my family is a daily blessing. I can still be a part of choir when I feel good. I can work with my husband in our Bible institute. I can help my daughter. I get to go to water aerobics with my sister. And so much more.
Yes, "normal" is a blessing.

fibromyalgia

    I was officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year. It is very hard to accept this condition. I am not the person I use to be nor the person that I wish I could be. It has changed my life in ways that I never thought possible.
    There are very few days when I am not in pain. When I do feel good, I want to do all of the things that I usually cannot do. That ends up being a really bad decision. Within 48 hours I will be in the worse conditions. I have to just sleep and sleep.
    In my "normal" life I was a very active person who loved to keep busy. Sitting around was one of the things I just didn't do. However, over the last year and three months, I have to sit around more and more because I just don't have the strength nor ability to do the things I desire. It is very frustrating.
    God has used so many things in my life to teach me and change me to be more like Christ. So far, fibromyalgia hasn't "blessed" me at all. It is very hard for me to not get angry and discouraged. Perhaps that is what God is trying to do through this illness...teach me true contentment and gratitude.
    In every situation I try to find the truth and the blessing, but in this circumstance, it has been extremely hard. I trust in the LORD and know that He is sovereign. May His will be done.

Vacation Photos

    My family was blessed to be able to spend nine days in sunny Florida in early March. We have wanted to go there for many years and it justed seemed that the Lord said it was finally time for us to go. I was born there and lived in the house that my parents built until I was two years old. I haven't been back since and so wanted to see where my life began. I also wanted Bekah to be able to see all of the cool aeronautical things in the nornthern part of the state. We saw so much history and beauty of God's creations. The thing I liked the best was that it was sunny every day. It may have been cold at times, but it was always sunny. Ecclesiastes 11:7, "Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is for the eyes to behold the sun:" No one knows that verse is true like a western Washitonian.







My parents took me to church here from the time I was just a few days old, until we moved. This is the First Baptist Church of Palatka, Florida.

I love this cross that stands on the bay of Saint Augustine, Florida.

Bekah and I are standing under a saturn 5 rocket like the ones that took men to the moon.

This is me pretending to be a mercury astronaut.

Trials and Tribulations

    I don't know who it was that said, "The only thing you can count on, are death and taxes." I would like to add, that you can also count on trials and tribulations. They are just a normal part of life.
    Last year, we seemed to go through more than our fair share of trials and tribulations. Some of them were so hard that I don't know how we survived...other than the mighty grace of God. There were times when I was ready to scream and run away, especially when there was more than one to deal with at a time. Much prayer and perseverance brought us through each one with victory. When the year ended, I was one very happy woman.
    This year has started off extremely calm and that has been such a blessing. We were able to fully enjoy our vacation knowing that nothing was "hanging over our heads." But then the vacation ended and so did the calm. When the mail resumed, so did the trials and tribulations.
    The difference this year, is that I don't feel so overwhelmed. The Bible says, "Tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:" Romans 5:3b-4. The Lord Jesus also said that in this world we will have tribulations. God's Word has given me peace that this trial (which is a literal trial) will work out according to His will.
    So, I don't dread trials and tribulations this year like I did last year. The difference is the blessings of the Lord.

Please Reply

    I hate those things that want you to reply. I don't know why, I just do. So, why am I asking you to the thing that I hate? Because I really want to know if anyone reads this blog. I would like to do more with this site, if people are reading it. However, if no-one reads this, then I need to figure out if this is God's will. So, if you do read this site and if you have any ideas for expansion, etc. would you please let me know? Otherwise, this site may just go away. Thank you so much, Alice

My birth state

    Many years ago, I was born in the state of Florida. When I was two years old, we left and moved far, far away. Winding up in the state of Washington. For many years I have wanted to go back to Florida. It never seemed the right time, until early this year. I was looking at my email and found some good-priced tickets. After prayer and consultation with my beloved, it just seemed that it was the right time to go. After a wonderful nine days of vacation, it is hard to believe that it is already time to go back home to Washington. There is a part of me that just wants to stay here and enjoy the sunshine. But there is another part of me that just can't wait to get back home to all that is familiar. I am so thankful to the LORD for allowing the three of us to have this blessed vacation.

For Whatever It Takes

    "...For whatever it takes for my will to break...I'll trade comfort for pain...to draw closer to you, Lord...that's what I am willing to do..." (artist unknown)
    It was 30 years ago this last November, that I first heard the song above. (I just pulled a few lines that mean the most to me.) It was on a Sunday morning, and I was sitting alone in the church we attended in San Diego. My husband of four months was on duty and couldn't be with me. It was the first time that I had been so far away from my home and my family and to be alone in such a huge city was a bit scary. It was also the first trimester of an unplanned pregnancy. I was feeling a bit lonely and sorry for myself, but I was determined to be in church. And so it was that I heard the song.
    The music director's wife sang this song as a solo and the words reached deep into my mind. I couldn't believe that anyone could honestly sing this song and these words without meaning it completely. The conviction I saw on the soloist's face told me that she meant every word of surrender that she sang. I never thought that I could ever do that. I had always been in control of my life. I had only surrendered my will when forced to do so or when I thought there would be an advantage to doing so.
    As the years passed, the song never left my heart. Pain and trials filled my life, and I allowed it to turn into anger, hatred, and bitterness. My world became a small, hard, and dark shell of resistance and depression. I did not want to let anyone or anything into my little world because I trusted only myself. I figured that I was safe, but I was so wrong.
    Finally, in desperation, I cried out to the LORD for freedom. It took months of prayer and confession of sin. The Holy Spirit began to shine His light around my darkened soul. He firmly, but lovingly showed me sin after sin after sin. As I confessed and repented of each one, the layers of my shell crumbled. God Almighty was cleansing me and creating something beyond my human ability. At last I became able to sing that song with all my heart. I was able to fully surrender and trust in the Lord.
However, over the last couple of years, I have gone through even more trials with my health and have given into discouragement and frustration. Each time I went through a trial it got easier and easier to fall into sin once again. These last few months have been some of the worst. My fibromyalgia had gotten so bad that I had to resign the job that I loved so much. The pain and frustration had taken hold on my body and soul.
    Then, last week, after 30 years, I heard the song sung once again. This time it was sung in my home church by the preacher and two of his daughters. And once again, the song reached into my heart. Afterwards, it was like the Holy Spirit said to me, "Well, are you willing to surrender once again? You already have traded comfort for pain whether you wanted to or not. But are you willing to surrender your will?" With fresh tears, I realized my sinfulness and repented then and there.
    With all my heart I can again say to the Lord, "Whatever it takes...that's what I am willing to do...to be more like you, Lord." I do surrender all to Jesus.